Going Gluten Free: Chocolate Chip Cookies

Again, this is a "quick" recipe.  I do plan on working towards homemade as I have mentioned (working on that with my pizza crusts) but this is great for a quick dessert and my family loves them.  My husband even says they are better than the "gluten" ones we used to use.  Now that is a compliment!

So these chocolate chip cookies are from Betty Crocker.  They were the first ones I made and we love them.  King Arthur Flour makes a mix as well but they are more expensive and I haven't tried them for fear I will like it even more and I prefer the cheaper option because for those of you who don't know, gluten free is not cheap!  So since our bellies seem to love these I am sticking with this brand.

They make DELICIOUS cookies. Moist, chewy, they rise well and they have the right mix of cookie dough to chocolate chip.

Now I have heard that Pillsbury makes a GF cookie dough all pre-made but have yet to find it in "Our Little Nest on the Coast" but that would be a step backwards for me anyway on my venture to all homemade so I am glad they aren't around.

So, if you are looking for a quick chocolate chip cookie dough mix that is gluten free, I highly recommend these.  Also, FYI, if you do coupons at all, this mix is one you can use Betty Crocker coupons on so it is even better!  When I find those coupons I stock up!

Us Four Plus More?

Don't get too worked up...I am NOT pregnant.  However, having another child has been on my heart a lot.  I don't feel done.  But I wonder, will I ever feel done?  I have talked to many women that say yes I will feel done when I am.  I have even talked to women who said they too thought they wouldn't feel done and they eventually did.  However some of these women had 4,5, or even 6 kids and as much as I would love to fill my house with children (honestly) I have to seriously think about the ability to afford that, space in the home, time to give each, etc.  If I can't give them 110% I should not have anymore.  I believe this strongly about anyone choosing to bring children into their home.

I DO feel I can give 110% to another child.  However, I know that my husband sometimes has all he can do to handle two right now and I have to take that into consideration.  I too have my moments of "freak out" but they are few and far and I think we all those moments every now and then...with or without kids!  I think my husband would have a third but I worry about his struggle with handling that because lets face it, sometimes Mommy needs a few hours out by herself.

I LOVE the craziness of my home right now.  Often times in those crazy busy moments where I don't know what to do next because EVERYTHING should be next I just smile.  Honestly, I smile.  I LOVE the beauty in my craziness.  My husband on the other hand, he often looks at me in those moments and says, "And you want another one?!" or he stresses and gets short with us all.  It is moments like that where I wonder can HE handle another.  Better yet, can I handle it all when he can't?  I think I can but I am not sure and that is what scares me.  I don't want another child to put stress on our marriage because my husband is all stressed out.  But, I do want another child.

We have talked about it a lot and I think my husband is open to having another.  I think I have come to a good place myself.  I am content with my life.  I love my two boys and I can be content with that.  My heart longs for at least one more child to bless our home and I even think about names, how a third child would fit perfectly in our family and I even sometimes slip and call our youngest a "middle child" in the way he acts at times.  Like he knows too he is meant to be a middle child...lol.  I pray a lot about this.  I pray thanksgiving for what I DO have when I wasn't sure I could have children at all.  I pray for another child but ultimately I pray for God's will and plan in this and that He lead my heart to the "right place".  I am content in letting "what will be" be.  I am content in leaving it up to God.

This may not sound like much but it is HUGE for me.  With my first child and my second I wanted them so badly.  (This is not to say I do not want a third child so badly).  It is just that I would have done ANYTHING to make that happen.  I DID do a lot to make it happen.  I was not comfortable at that point with "just" leaving it up to God.  I was going to make it happen!  That is the place I was in at that point in my life.

This time around though I have peace.  Peace in knowing what my heart desires but peace in knowing it is up to God.  Peace and happiness in being content with all that I do have.  With the two little blessings I have now.  Yes, I have those moments of desire and those moments of "what if it can't happen" but even in those moments I have calm and peace.  I have two amazing boys.  I have a "crazy beautiful life" and for that, I am thankful.  That, brings me peace and calm.  That helps me to let "what will be" be.  That helps me finally give up the control I try to have to God.  I will pray for what I want but I will also pray that God puts into my heart his plan and I believe that is what he is doing.  Now, I just have to wait and see what that is!

dear mom of the little boy with celiac disease

And one more because this one brought even more tears...

dear mom of the little boy with celiac disease

I particularly like how she talks about not realizing how lucky I was the first almost 2 years of his life. Where he was "normal".  I didn't read labels to the extent I did now.  I just looked to avoid high fructose corn syrup and food dyes but it wasn't a necessity as much as a preference.  I didn't have to think twice about making my favorite pie crust I finally perfected with the help of my Grandmother or using the seasoning packets we loved for meatloaf and chicken soup.  We bought noodles in bulk at a local bulk store.  We treated ourselves to a donut hole from the bakery.  We took for granted, "normal".

We also took for granted health.  Our first son had "issues" from the start and was not long ago diagnosed with SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and as much as it sounds horrible, in ways we relished in having a "healthy" and easy second child.  Then, he got sick.  Our world was transformed as we searched and fought for answers and prayed for health.  Then our world flipped more as we were thrown into gluten free.  This was not foreign to me as I dabbled in it for my health with my endometriosis but to be thrust into it the way my son needed it was hard.  As was coming to terms with this new world for him and us.  Our "abnormal" normal.

I still wouldn't say we are at a new "normal" for us.  I still wouldn't say we are at full acceptance either. As much as deep down I know it isn't so, I still expect to wake up from this bad dream.  I still don't think ahead about how this is life, forever.  I still don't believe this is it.  Even worse, I worry about what if this isn't it and it is more?

I have a long way to go.  But, we are getting there.  One step at a time.

Dear mom raising a child gluten free.

Again Rachel brought tears to my eyes because where she was a couple years ago is where I am right now.

I had those why him moments.  I did pray for an answer and for him to just be well when he was sick.  I cried about the Goldfish he loved and can no longer eat.  I hate those free deli cookies!  Read more here:

http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2013/11/dear-mom-raising-child-gluten-free.html

She is right though.  Being gluten free gives my boy life and for that I am thankful.

Raising a child gluten free? Here are ten facts you need to know.

Another great post from Rachel.  I have not found my "normal" yet but we are getting there.  I feel more in control and that is great.  We ate out to eat the other day and I had some panic going in but all that was eased when I walked in and asked about a GF menu and they handed me a book full of "If you have this allergy....eat this"  I was in love! 

Raising a child gluten free? Here are ten facts you need to know.

I do not have a smartphone so I don't have the luxury of scanning an item or looking it up to see if it is GF on my mobile.  That is frustrating for sure.  Especially as she mentions those ones that say, "natural flavor".  AHHHH!!!!!  It took me forever it seemed to find a pizza sauce that actually said "Gluten Free" all the others had those dreaded words of "natural flavors" on it and I just couldn't be sure.  Thank you Ragu for labeling yours!

Living Gluten Free is not easy and I am learning every day.  It is even harder when it is your child.  However, Rachel is right, it is a disease but it does not define you.  She is right, you are doing just what it says LIVING gluten free. 

Living and Active Challenge

So I have completed the challenge.

No weight loss and no real noticeable (outward) changes in my body.

However, I do feel good.  I feel stronger and accomplished.

Exercises that were hard became easier.

I did it and my body thanks me for it.

So what now?

Well, I got sick (hence my lack of posting lately) and I am still not 100%.  With that, I fell off the "bandwagon" as I so often do.  However, I am determined to get back on.

I like what Claire said in her last post about setting a new goal for yourself.  One that is realistic.  As much as I LOVED getting a workout in 4 times a week and my body loved it too, I think what she said hit home.  If I want to make this stick I need to be more realistic for my crazy life right now.

So I thought about it and my next goal is 3 times a week for 4 weeks.  If I exceed that great but if not then great too.  I know ideally I will work out every day and eventually I would like to get there but another thing Claire said hit home as well, the whole marathon and not a sprint mindset I discussed in a recent post.  I need to prepare myself for the marathon and not the sprint.  I have been preparing for the sprint in my journey thus far and I need to change that.  So I am.  My marathon will begin slow and with a steady pace as you should.

I will work out 3 times a week for 5 weeks for at least 25 minutes each time.  I will document each week here just as before.  I think that will help me with my accountability.  At the end of the 5 weeks I will assess how I have done.  Why 5 weeks?  Good question.  Not sure exactly but I think Claire had a reason for it and I believe it had something to do with becoming a habit.  Or maybe not.  Regardless, I am doing 5 weeks because that is what it was before.  Just  changing my expectations on the frequency.

Anyone want to join me?  I am going to start with Monday...give myself a few more days to get back to myself after this very odd "bug" I picked up and the other challenges when Monday to Sunday...so I will do the same since my mind is used to thinking that way for the challenges.

So, are you doing this with me?

We Hope You Had A Happy Halloween!

We decorated for Halloween.  Handsome 1 was so excited.  I loved that this year I was able to hang up a couple of decorations I had saved that Handsome 1 had made and evene one Handsome 2 had made this year!

We FINALLY carved pumkins.

Handsome 1 and 2 were so exited and asked me every day last week.  Sadly, we have had such a jam packed schedule I just haven't had the time to until this past Saturday.

We attended a local "Ghost Train" ride...always a favorite with the kids but for whatever reason, this year seemed less eventful.

And I made healthy Halloween treats for Handsome 1's Pre-K class with some help from the boys :)  Super cute and fun!

And tonight we trick-or-treat!

a gluten free normal life.

Just had to share this post from Rachel at Finding Joy.  Not only does she speak to my heart about motherhood but she also has a boy with Celiac Disease so her journey is close to my heart obviously.

Here is her post: a gluten free normal life.

I am not where she is yet.  I am still in a denial phase I think.  I still hurt for what Handsome 2 will "never have" or "never have again".  I still ache for his inability to have the cookie from the deli or to have the snacks at the Halloween party.  I still can't figure out how to eat out with him.  I still ache with the thought that he has to ask me like he did today, "Is this gluten free?"  My heart aches for what is, what will be, and what will never be for him.

He though, bless his heart, he acts like he is missing nothing.  He knows what "hurts his belly" and if he doesn't know and I have to break the sad truth to him about something he wants, he acts like it is no big deal.  He talks about how things like muffins and breads "used to" "hurt his belly" but "not anymore" because I make him or have found gluten free alternatives.

Bless him.  Bless his strength and courage when I feel like I am lacking it.  Bless my two year old boy who accepts life as it is and continues on despite the cards he has been dealt.  He has taught me and continues to teach me more than I feel I can ever teach him about life.

So, "a gluten free normal life"?  I am not there yet.  But with the grace of God and the lessons in life my 2 year old's teaching me,  I will get there.

Someday, I will know what "a gluten free normal life is".  I am just not there yet.

Friday's Fun Facts

I haven't done one of these in a while so thought I would.

Here are some "Fun Facts" about my boys lately:

- Handsome 1 and 2 play so well together.  Yesterday Handsome 1 asked 2 if he could play in the car 2  was using.  Handsome 2 thought for a moment and said, "Yes you can" and got out.  Then he turned to me and said, "See, no fighting."  :)  So proud of them.

-  Handsome 1 hates meat.  Handsome 2 loves it!

- Handsome 1 is so good about Handsome 2's food restrictions. He knows why and is quick to explain it to others.  Handsome 2 is understanding now that certain foods, "hurt his belly" so that is why he can't have some stuff.  Both boys are taking this all so well.  Kids resilience amaze me.  I learn from them every day in this regard.

-  Both boys love a good dance party.  

-  Both boys love playing outside.

-  Handsome 1 said the other day he loves his school.  I just pray this continues.

-  Handsome 2 asked when he could go to school.  Sadly my oldest's preschool is closing...so sad.  I am not sure what i will do with Handsome 2 as that is where I intended to send him.

-  Handsome 1 is shy, reserved, and a perfectionist.

-  Handsome 2 loves to cuddle, is confident, and goes with the flow.

-  Handsome 1 loves tractors and learning how things work.  

- Handsome 2 loves machinery and anything with wheels.

Both boys are such a joy and such a blessing. Sure they can make me want to hide away for a moment once in a while but honestly 90% of the time, I just smile and am grateful for every moment I have with them.

I am blessed.

to the out of breath mom.

Click here for another amazing post from Rachel at Finding Joy.

to the out of breath mom.

I SOOOO needed to hear this today.

I find myself constantly feeling like I need to keep up and sacrificing myself (my health for one) to do so and that isn't right.

Rachel is right.  Someday I will have that "perfectly clean house" and the laundry will be caught up.  The toys wont be everywhere and I wont be constantly giving of myself.

It will happen.

However, it will happen at the sacrifice of children in my home to care for.  So if you ask me which one do I want right now I will quickly respond, children in the home.  Lots of them.  I don't want that clean home, etc.  I want the moments I have now.

The rest can wait.

Wordless Wednesday: Apple Season

From Crib to Toddler Bed

Late in September we decided since Handsome 2 was doing so well with potty training and since he was starting to attempt to climb in (not out..funny) of his crib it was time to take the side off his crib to convert it to the toddler bed.  He was so excited (as was his brother). 

Handsome 1 and 2 got right to work prepping his bed and then Handsome 1 took photos with me (too cute).  Then Handsome 1 hopped right in and tried it out.  He was so excited.  I have never seen a kid so anxious to go to bed that night!  For the first time too he grabbed a book to "read" as he drifted off to sleep for the night just as his brother does.  It was bittersweet to see this change. Just another confirmation that my little boy is a boy and not a baby anymore but so wonderful to see him grow.

Living and Active Challenge Week 5

This is the last week for the challenge.  It is amazing how it has made me accountable.  Nobody is really making sure I do my exercise.  I could lie.  However, I am not one to do that so it holds me accountable.  Also the fact that I am doing it with a friend and we check in with each other frequently helps. 

This time I cut and pasted the whole "inspiration" that Clare wrote because it was what I needed to hear.  I do find myself wondering as she said earlier in her whole post, "What next?"  How do I keep this going?  And I am SOOO determined in other things (my kids health, their education, really anything to do with my kids, cloth diapering, etc.)  I don't give up.  However, for whatever reason, I always give up with weight loss. I slip and I don't pick myself back up.  I think Clare "hit the nail on the head" when she said I have been "preparing for a sprint not a marathon".  All the other things with my kids take work but I see results much sooner than the LONG time it will take me to see the "end" of  the marathon of my weight loss.  Seeing weight loss in general is nice but apparently not enough to keep me going when I see how far I still need to go.  Plus, I have a hard time putting "me" first AND not falling back into the "easier". 

I am not sure how to shift my mindset to a "marathon" and not a "sprint" but it is something I NEED to do.  I feel better when I am healthier, which makes me happier, which makes me a better Mommy, wife, friend, co-worker, etc.  I know all that.  But as Clare said, until I shift my mindset it wont matter. 

Now, to just get there.

So, plans for Week 5 other than memorizing the verse, here is my plan for exercise:

Today I will do a video, Tuesday will be Zumba and Wednesday will be yoga.  (So glad to be back to practicing yoga by the way...I forgot how much my body needs it.)  I hope to catch Zumba again on Saturday and Sunday.  Thursday and Friday are booked solid.  If I do all of this it will be 5 days but I need to have a plan like this so that when one day doesn't work out I don't panic.

Now for food.  Sigh.  I still am working on that.  I am such an "easy and fast food" eater (by fast I mean quick not actually fast food...I actually rarely eat that) as well as a "comfort" and "boredom" eater.  I am not really ever "bored" as I have plenty to do but when I sit down before bed to unwind  that is when I want to eat.  I find myself realizing I am not even hungry it is just the habit and man does that habit have a tight hold on me.  If you could hear the internal struggle I have, "You don't need it.  You aren't even hungry" etc. but man it consumes my brain.  I have tried just staying busy, which helps but then I have a very hard time settling in for rest at night.  I haven't found an answer yet. 

I guess again I need to realize this is a marathon and not a sprint.  Looking at "short term" I have exercised 4 times a week for 5 straight weeks.  Good for me.  I have begun to really examine my eating and realize where my faults are as well as have the conversation with myself as I recognize you don't need this, you just want it, etc.  That is a step right?  Marathon not sprint right?  I think I need to repeat these words over and over and over....

Happy Birthday Buddy!

Today at 9:22 A.M. my "little boy" turned 5.  I don't know why but this age feels similar to when he turned 1.  It feels like a milestone.  Five is school-age.  Five feels like he is no longer my "little boy" and is officially a "boy".  Where has the time gone?

As any mother will often say at any age, it feels like just yesterday that after 30 hours of difficult labor and delivery I delivered my first child.  To say he is a blessing does not do justice.  I am getting teary just thinking about it.

You are amazing buddy.  You are my first child.  You are so smart.  So sweet.  So sensitive. You have empathy and compassion beyond your years.  You are an AMAZING big brother.

Things have not always been easy.  The end of my pregnancy with you was hard- I had high blood pressure and bed rest.  The labor was hard- 30 hours and you delivered face up and I had a 4th degree tear.  Your first few hours and months were hard- in your first hours you stopped breathing once and you cried all night long.  You initially tested positive for a rare disease that would have impacted your growth (LOL...look how big you are now!) and would have required constant supply of nutrients to your system as your body would not have been able to store them so for few weeks we were so scared and were required to feed you every 4 hours no matter what.  You had colic your first 3 months and would only sleep if someone held you.  You struggled to latch and I struggled to nurse you.

Then it was easy.  Further testing showed you did not have the disease.  You slept great.  You ate great.  You were growing wonderfully (and have continued!).  You were developing and hitting milestones quickly.  You were such a joy.

Then it got hard again.  Within the last year we got a diagnosis of SPD and we have been in OT since trying to figure out how to make life easier for you and for us.  Mommy felt like she was not doing you justice and that hurt.  I hurt for you.  I fought though.  I fought hard for you just as I fought hard to be able to conceive you and you have come so far.  I am so proud of you.

Nobody ever said it would be easy but they did say it would be worth it and these past 5 years have been so worth it.  You have taught me so much.  You continue to teach me patience, unconditional love, how to live in the moment, you have to taught me how to be a better me.

I see so much of myself in you.  Your drive.  Your perfectionism.  Your eagerness to please.  I so want to tell my "little self" relax, enjoy life, don't worry.  You are smart.  You are kind.  You are loved.  I tell you this but I am not sure you grasp fully the amazingness that you are.

Happy 5th birthday buddy.  God knew just what he was doing when he "gave me you".

Now for a few fun facts about you at this age:

- You are tall!  You are greater than 90th percentile for height and weight.  You are the tallest in your class!

- You have an amazing smile.

- You continue to love music.

- You love machinery but in particular, you love tractors.  You used to love Kubota since that is what Papa drives but since there is a lot more John Deere merchandise, you are fond of that now too.

- Your favorite colors are orange and green (see above for the reason).

- You don't care for meat but if you have to eat it, you love Dada's BBQ chicken drumsticks.

- You love olives and hummus...two things I find unique for your age.

- You love fruit.

- You eat your vegetables...you prefer raw.

- You have grown to really like rice.

-  You like fries...the shoestring ones...not crinkle cut like Dada and your brother :)

-  You love treats like candy, ice cream and McDonald's and since we don't do those a lot you really enjoy them.

-  You know all your colors and are working on letters but you can spell and write your first name with upper and lower case!

-  You are now in Pre-K in the morning class and you LOVE it! Mommy kept you out of K this year and it was the best decision I made.  You are thriving.  You would have been the youngest in your class since you literally were born on the "cut off day" but now you are the oldest and it has been great.

-  You have made a friend at school named Cale.  You think it is cool that you both have the same backpacks and if you just change one letter of your names you can spell the other's name :)

- Your other friends are Nick (your cousin) and Lucas (a new friend from down the road).

-  You continue to enjoy Riley who was your friend in preschool but she attends the afternoon Pre-K session so you don't see her as much.  She often requests to sit with you on the bus though :)

-  You are a busy boy with lots of energy, curiosity and desire to learn.

- You love to watch movies and T.V. for your downtime.  Some of your favorites are Curious George, Doc McStuffins, Scooby-Doo, Tom and Jerry, and Mighty Machines.

-  You say you want to "work on an island like Dada" when you grow up :)

Happy Birthday Handsome!

Editor's Note: The end of the month you had your "well visit" and you are 97th percentile for height and 96th percentile for weight (no surprise there!).  You also got your flu shot and one of your many you need at this age.  We go at the end of next month for two more.  You were scared but overall you did well :)  The doctor says you are doing great and you impressed him and Momma when you said, "Lion" while talking to him with a perfect "L" sound!  Way to go bud!

The "Other" Challenge

So I mentioned in my last "Living and Active" Challenge post that I also took on another challenge at the same time.  This one is a "30 Day Plank Challenge".

A friend of mine who is at an amazing point in her weight loss journey (she is down 87 lbs!) asked who wanted to do this with her and I agreed.  I have always enjoyed planking from my yoga days as it really does a nice job working on the whole body, it doesn't require equipment and really requires little time but does a lot of good in that time.  I remember my yoga instructor once saying, "If you just do one thing a day do planking.  It will tone your whole body."  So I was excited to take on this challenge.  It seemed manageable (key for me) and I am doing it with a friend so that makes it more fun.

Here is where I am at so far and where I need to go:

So a few things here.  I am only at day 9 of 30 but on a positive note I have gone in that time from 20 seconds to a full minute!  I  think it is INSANE to think I am going to get to 5 minutes.  I said that to my friend from the very beginning.  I started struggling at 45 seconds and a minute was pure torture yesterday (I did it after Zumba, at the end of my day, and after some intense shoulder work so that probably was not a smart move).  Today I did my minute first thing in the morning and that helped but I still struggled.  I  am proud to think I have made it to 1 minute but discouraged to think there is no way I will make it to 5 minutes.  I am excited to push myself though in small manageable goals.  

My friend and I have already started looking for a new challenge as the 5 week "Living and Active" one ends next week.  (Wahoo!  I will have completed 5 weeks!)  I need these little personal challenges to keep me going.  I sadly do not yet have the drive within me to just do it myself (hence my major struggle with food...I need to find a small manageable challenge for that!)  Having an amazingly wonderful and inspiring friend to push me and encourage me is great.

So there you have it friends.  My "other" challenge.  

Girl Time

Recently I went out with a fellow Mommy.  We went once before and enjoyed our time so much we decided to do it again.  All we did was leave our family (she has a hubby and two boys as well) after they were all settled in with dinner and we headed out of town for pedicures.  Nothing fancy but oh so needed.  We talked nonstop and the time just flew by.  Both times we actually pulled back into my house after being out and sat and talked in the car. 

We have similar thoughts on life and each of our boys are within 6 months of age of each other.  We have similar desires and goals.

We also have differences.

She is homeschooling her boys.  I am not.  She is Baptist.  I am a Congregationalist.  She is nearing completion on her weight loss journey.  I have only just begun.  She is 5 years younger than I am...ugh.   She thinks she may be done having children.  I want more. 

However, despite our differences and our similarities the thing that has really connected us during these times is that we both needed this.

We both needed some girl time.

We both needed to feel pampered a little and to take some time for just us.

We are both Mommies and we are both tired and we are both now happy with our pretty little toes :)

I can't wait to do it again in another couple of months :)

Living and Active Challenge Week 4

Did I type that right?!

I actually went back to the site to make sure I was right.  I can't believe we are at week 4.  I can actually say I am proud.  At the end of this week I will have committed to working out 4 times a week for 4 weeks at this point.  Yay!

AND as of last week I have started a new challenge (a planking challenge I will post about soon.)

Yes, that is right.  I am doing two challenges at once.  Go me!

Last week was easy for me.  The exercise part.  It came easy.  I am happy for that.  This week we have a busy week so I have to cram it in a little but I have a plan so I know I can do it.

A plan.

That is what is helping me with exercise and actually writing that plan out.  It is something I have not yet done and desperately need to with food.  I need to start small though and am not sure where to start.  This 4 times a week for 5 weeks thing makes me feel like it is attainable and that is what I need to do with food.

Being true to the scripture this week though I focused a lot on cravings.  It was very eye opening.  I realize they are a major issues for me but I had no idea just how major.  Literally I had a constant battle in my head on days I really focused on them.  I KNEW I didn't need it.  I KNEW I wasn't even hungry.  I KNEW I just wanted it.  I kept saying this over and over in my head, "I can do all things through God who strengthens me" and in church Sunday, I prayed for strength.  The last few days during the day I have done well but oh those nights.  They get me.  The days were no cake-walk (no pun intended) either but the nights when I have a moment to myself and to actually breath it seems, that is when the cravings are hard to resist.

I am so happy with my exercise routine yet I am still so dependent.  I need those external sources to push me.  A class, a challenge, etc.  I can't seem to do it alone.

The spiritual piece has been wonderful.  I commit me needs to prayer and I focus on he scriptures.  They are powerful.

Man, I am still such a HUGE work in progress.

So this week here is my plan for exercise:

Today has been hard to get my workout in as the boys have been clingy but I will get a video workout in at some point.  I am really like the one I found that is beginners boot camp.  I think I may do that again.

Tuesday and Thursday I will hopefully make it to Zumba.  If not, video again.

Wednesday will be a video or Zumba and I hope that one of those days I will also get to mow the lawn.  It needs a final mowing and it is a good workout.

Friday-Sunday I am not sure what will happen.  We have a busy "weekend" planned since it is Columbus Day weekend and there is no school Friday.  I hope to find time to exercise but if not, I have planned to workout the other 4 days to get my four times a week in for sure.

Food?  I plan to continue focusing on my cravings.  Just this alone will be a huge challenge for me.

I also plan to focus on my heart and learning this scripture :

 

There you have it!  Week 3 down and week 4 started!

 

 

You Did What?!

He swallowed a marble.

Typical 2 year old right?

Nope.

My almost 5 year old!

What ensued after was a lot of panic from my son who I think was shocked it happened and a little scared.   Then my husband saying, "WHAT?!  GO SEE YOUR MOTHER!"

When I heard this I knew it wasn't good.  I expected my son had broken something precious to me.  I was not prepared for, "I swallowed a marble" as tears streamed from his eyes and panic spread on his face.

I calmed him.  Said you are breathing fine right?  Can you feel it?  Where? (He pointed to his tummy so I knew it was all good in that respect).  I had him swallow something.  It went down fine.

Just to be safe I called the doctor after measuring it... 1/2 inch.  It should come out fine I suspected but just thought I should check.  It was plastic too so I worried a little less.  It was a marble so it was smooth.  Worried even less.

Of course, this happened on a Sunday.  Poor doctor.  She did well though and didn't sound annoyed and said, as I suspected, that it should come out in 2-3 days.  I was glad I called though because she also said to go to the ER if he had trouble going the bathroom or started vomiting.  Good to know.  And I WAS remaining calm.

My husband on the other hand wanted to give him a laxative and pump the poop inducing fruit to him (pears are a big one in our home.)  Thank goodness I called the doctor because me telling my husband that you can't make it come out (it does have to travel through your body after all) wasn't convincing enough for him.  LOL.  He, as cute as it was, said he was also a little worried that the plastic was a cheap "made in China" toy so who knows what is in his body now.  LOL.

Later that night my son proudly "did his business" and insisted I check for the marble.  I told him I was pretty sure that it wouldn't be there.  But, I donned my plastic bag and played with my 5 year olds poop.  Yep.  That's is a Mom for you.

And do you know what my son later confessed he was worried about?  How we would "save the marble".  He didn't want to have the piece missing from his game.  Sigh...

I then had to do this for 3 more days.

At one point my husband interrupted my 30 minutes I asked for of alone time to exercise to "look for a stick" to "poke the poop" since he was NOT touching it.  I just bagged my hand and dove in.  LOL.

Even Handsome 1's pre-k teacher was on a alert to "check for the marble." God bless her kind heart.

So after 3 days I got a phone call while at work.

"Mom?"
"Yes Handsome 1"
"Mom?!'
"Yes Handsome 1?!'
"Mom say something so I know I am talking into the right part" (of the phone)....LOL.
"Handsome 1 I am right here.  What do you need?"
"Um.  Okay.  The marble is out of my body.  MeMe found it."

Thank the Lord.  No more "fishing".

Oh and guess what?

Yep.  We saved it.

It is soaking in bleach right now because even though someone felt the need to eat it, he didn't want to lose it from his game.

Sigh.

You know what is worse?  I actually stopped for a moment to think, "How cool is this?  It went through my son's entire digestive system system!"  Yeah. I am a Mom of boys :)

Living and Active Week 3

I just have to note that as I sit here and type this I have a little guy squished up against me sitting behind me.  I am on the edge of the chair and he has his little toes tucked under my butt and his knees resting on my back with one hand pushing on my back as well ever so lightly but firmly.  If I move a little he moves closer.  I had to share this because I smile and savor moments like this.

It also reminds me that we as mothers need to make sure we do what we need to do and sometimes that means being creative about how we get it done.  I am able to type this because I am allowing my little guy to do this.  Had I wanted to make sure I sat not dangling off the seat and more comfortably this post may not get done.  Because right now, my boy wants to snuggle when I am trying to get something done.  So we both compromise. 

I exercised today to start week three by leaving my sick older guy in bed with a snack, and a movie and telling him just where to find me.  I took my youngest downstairs with me to play in our sandbox while I exercised.  I got it done while answering questions about what I was doing and sometimes having a little guy try to do what I was doing, which is pretty cute I might add :)

It wasn't perfect.  It isn't perfect but it works.  I am learning more and more that if I want to be able to do it all (work, motherhood, get healthy) I need to accept imperfection.  It just wont happen any other way.

With that said, Week 2 went well on the exercise front.  I got my 4 days in with ease and contemplated a day 5 but then lost my motivation by the evening when I was able to do it.  Should I have embraced the desire at the time and done it or should I not push too much because I tend to be someone who dives in 1110% as I mentioned last week and then burns out?  I don't know the answer.  What I do know though is I am onto week 3 and going strong with the exercise piece.  I have been alternating two videos that I like and am not bored so that is good.  In fact, I am finding I am able to give a little more now and that feels good too.

Now, the diet.

That part sucks to be blunt.  I have removed all snacky stuff from my house so that helps.  I need to try adding tea in at night to see if that helps.  I need to start prepping food more.  I think that would help.  I want quick and easy.  If I had a chef and could just say I want a fruit salad and would have one presented like that to me I would pick that over chips.  However, I don't.  So I pick the chips that are quick and easy.  Sigh...

Last weeks "Soul Food" was about not worrying about tomorrow and it was so fitting.  This week's is about cravings and is again, so fitting.

"For everything in the world- cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he does- comes not from the Father but from the world." 1 John 2:16

This is definitely one I need to ponder.

Exercise.  Here is my plan for the week:

Today I exercised already.  Yay!  Tuesday and Thursday I hope to catch Zumba class.  Wednesday I may do Yoga...not sure yet.  Friday is a busy day so I will skip that day.  Saturday I hope to catch Zumba again but if not, I will do a video on Sunday.  If I do all that I have planned that will be 5 workouts.  We shall see.  I am set though to be sure I get 4 workouts in and have planned flexibility in case a day happens that I cannot exercise.

Now I must go because I just felt my little guy slump and realized he had fallen asleep behind him.  Bless his sweet little soul.

Living and Active Challenge Week 2

So some of you may remember I posted about doing the "Living and Active Challenge".  I am still doing it and completed week 1 on Sunday; therefore starting week 2 on Monday.

My husband and I went away for our anniversary Friday into Saturday (first overnight since having kids....5 years ago!) so those two days were out.  I had planned to complete all my workouts by then but Wed. I was so tired I went straight to bed.  That meant that despite my lack of motivation, I still dragged my butt to the basement and did my workout Sunday to be sure to get my four 25-minutes workouts in for the week.  I have done two low impact workouts from Fitness Blender after following a recommendation from the person running the challenge and I like them.  Super "easy" (easy as in can do them without much equipment or space) but a great workout.  I am sore!

The diet piece is still hit or miss.  I am working hard right now on trying to pay attention to when I am hungry and when I just think I need to eat (usually the moment my mind isn't pulled in 100 directions), which is usually after the kids and hubby are "settled" for the night.  So, of course, not only a bad habit but also a bad time to be indulging in the habit.  I used to be a tea drinker and a few people have suggested that.  I have also tried gum to try to indulge the need to "chew something".

I am doing better on my water intake and my fruit and veggie intake is improved but nothing to brag about.  I fall into the old "quick, easy and tasty" category and that is never a good combination.

But, that is what I like about this challenge.  It feels unpressured to perform.  Unpressured to "measure up".  It focuses on four 25- minute workouts a week five weeks, which feels doable.

Last night I was sore so I did yoga (boy my body needed that!) and that is also what is great about the challenge, it doesn't tell you what kind of workout it has to be.  Just move your body!  The other thing I like about this challenge is the spiritual component and the buddy system (I have a great buddy...a great friend and inspiration.) As many of you know, I am always seeking further spiritual guidance, insight, support so this is great.

Last week we focused on learning, "One person is easily overpowered.  Two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not easily broken."  Ecclesiastes 4:12

This week we focus on "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

The first week was an excellent reminder to me.  The second week is something I need to work very hard on.

So...here I am going strong still.  Not without constant internal struggle but I am still doing it.  I completed week 1 and am on to week 2 not noticing or feeling much change other than being sore :) I don't expect much change though only into it two weeks.  The only change I am noticing and shocked about a little is I am MORE tired.  Usually a regular exercise routine and focusing on eating a little better gives me energy.  Hmmm....

So Wednesday was a day off for me as I had some other commitments that took most of my evening.  Today I plan to do Zumba.  Friday I will do another video.  Saturday I will take off to take my boys apple picking and Sunday I will take off as well.  Or maybe not if I am feeling motivated.  But, I must be careful.  I am one to run 110% into something and then burn out.  Better to pace myself I think...hopefully then I will stick with it.  Hopefully...

Going Gluten Free: Muffins!

So thanks to my cousin and fellow blogger, Heather, I found a muffin mix I like.  I love King Arthur's Gluten Free Pancake mix and am pretty sure their cookie mix is good too but I haven't tried it yet for fear I will like it best.  Right now I use Betty Crocker's mix and it is good.  And even my picky husband likes them, "better than the real kind" so I hate to change because Betty Crocker's is cheaper :) 

With that said, since I really like King Arthur's pancake mix (seriously, they are awesome...you can't taste the difference and again, my very picky husband doesn't mind them) and at the recommendation of Heather, I tried their muffin mix.

I personally thought the muffins were a little bland.  I tried a recommendation with frozen berries of washing them and drying them to prevent staining the mix.  It worked like a charm but I wonder if I "washed off" some flavor?

Otherwise, beautiful, delicious, moist, and most importantly, my GF son LOVES them!

Yay!  Another GF victory!

I just saw someone post about using cinnamon chips in theirs.  I bought chocolate chips to try and did use a cinnamon streusel on top of my blueberry ones but cinnamon chips may be a good one to try!

Going Gluten Free: Brownies

I have been making "boxed" gluten free stuff for my family (initially I was one step below that and buying all pre-made!) as I slowly learn how to go gluten-free.  I found a box of Betty Crocker Gluten Free brownie mix and gave it a shot.  Let me just say....AMAZING!

I thought they were better than any boxed brownie I have done thus far.  The rich chocolaty flavor was amazing.  They almost tasted homemade!  I would say the rest of the family liked them too since half the dish was gone in one sitting and my husband (Mr. Picky) actually brought one to work.

As I have said before, I would like to eventually go all homemade but as I navigate this new area of cooking/baking I am starting slowly so as not to completely overwhelm myself or my family.  I have moved from all pre-made to partially made where I buy the mix and do the rest.

My biggest hang-up is I need to find a flour I like.  We can't do almond flour as many do because of allergies and I tried coconut flour and not being a huge fan of coconut, so far I am not sold on  it.  In looking at packaging it seems a combination of flours is best but what those are and how much of each?  Your guess is as good as mine at this point.

So, for now, I am happy to be to the point I am at.  And you know what.  Eventually when I get to all homemade I will be glad to know which pre-made and boxed things I like best because lets face it, there are times when you want to do quick and easy :)

Taking Time....

My husband and I are all about the kids.  If we go somewhere 99% of the time we are taking the kids with us.  We always said that when we had kids someday it was going to be because we wanted them.  We would never have them simply because "that is what you do".  We love our kids more than life itself and would do anything for them.  With that though, comes often putting 110% of our life into them and therefore forgetting to take time for "us".

The last time we had a night away was when I had just found out I was pregnant with Handsome 1.  So yes, that means just shy of 5 years ago.  Yes, you read that right.  5 years.

Although we pride ourselves in the fact that we adore our children so much it isn't the best for your relationship as a couple.  You need that time to connect.  You need that time as adults.  You need that time for each other.

So, since this year is a year where we have no pregnancy, babies or nursing children right now we decided to do our first overnight since having kids.  We went away last year for our anniversary but just for the day.  I was still nursing Handsome 2 and didn't want to be away all day and night from him for that reason.  So although we had wanted to do something a little extra special every 5 years, we did something a little extra special to mark 6 years.

That is 6 years of marriage but 18 years of being together!  As much as it doesn't feel like 18 years it does in other ways.  What I mean by that is we have grown so much.  Changed so much.  Learned so much.  18 years is a long time.  6 years married in this day in age is a long time.  So we decided to celebrate that.

We booked a room in a nearby town we have grown to love.  We visited last year so we went back this year.  We stayed in a pricier fancier room just to make it a little more special.  Oh it was heaven.  We also stopped at several wineries along the way.  I am not a drinker for those of you who don't know me but learning about how they grow their grapes at one vineyard to how they make their wine at another and tasting several along the way was fun.  We even bought 3 bottles that we each seemed to like (despite the fact that although my husband drinks, he is also not a wine drinker.)

We really had a good time.  We enjoyed the chance to relax.  To not have a schedule.  To not have to worry about anyone else but ourselves.  To just enjoy each other's company.  And for me at one point, I just enjoyed the silence and the chance to lay in bed past 6:30 am just because I wanted to :)

I hope we take time to do this again.  Maybe it will be another year before we do but I sure hope we take the time to enjoy each other again amoungst all the many days of enjoying our kids with each other.

Happy 6 years hun.  Here is to many more.

Poop Talk

So I just put it out there plain and simple.  This is going to be a talk about poop.  I need to talk about it because it is an integral part to what Handsome 2 is dealing with and I wanted to update on him.

We had a follow-up with the GI specialist and the naturopath.  Both want us to continue with gluten-free for now (which I suspect will turn into forever...still coming to terms with this).  The GI doc said to call him around the 1st of October to "check in" and if Handsome 2 is doing well (as he suspects he will be and I pray he will) then we will wait for a follow-up in Nov.  If he is not doing well we will discuss what we will do testing-wise.  He said to defer to the naturopath in terms of his probiotic but that in his opinion after 30 days you have replenished what you need.  The naturopath said given his 11 days (yes you read that right) without pooping before being helped by a laxative, we need to do another round to settle his system.  Both agree we need to use a laxative if he gets to day 5.  We don't want to stretch is GI system so that it starts holding more and more stool.  Since the appts we have needed a laxative for 1 of 3 stools.  He had one that was somewhat formed and somewhat runny but the naturopath said to expect it given his 11 days he went before going the last time.   The next one required a laxative but was more formed.  This last one was only 3 days (yay!  We are working on every 2-3 days going on his own) and was not really formed but not a huge mess as he has had frequently.  So.....I am cautiously optimistic.  VERY cautious.  So much so that I considered deleting my comment about any kind of optimism.

We have a height and weight check in October.  I pray so much that he is becoming more "regular" and that he has gained something.  We have been 6 months now without any height or weight gain.  Breaks my heart to know we are at 6 months for that and 4 months of GI issues. 

I recently was trying to find chicken nuggets in the grocery store that were GF.  Now I know some would say chicken nuggets are not bad to do without but when you are 2 and your life is turned upside down it seems you (and maybe even more so your mother) craves some sense of "normal".  Normal to me is a trip to McDonald's once in a while and some chicken nuggets.  I haven't figured out McDonald's yet but I am working on the chicken nuggets.  With that said, I found some but they had honey.  Ugh.  Remember my little guy is sensitive to that too!  So....I found another package and was reading if it had honey and Handsome 1 asked if we were done soon (shopping) and I just said yes I just had to check to see if these nuggets would hurt his belly and Handsome 1 said, "You need to see if it has gluten?"  I just said yes rather than explaining the whole honey thing too.  (Side note:  Uber proud of my oldest...he gets the whole gluten thing, what Handsome 2 can't have, etc...so sweet at just 4- almost 5- years old.)  Anyway, a man walked by with his wife and said, "They are.  We get them for our son".  Long story short we ended up chatting about having a child that has gluten intolerance.  His poor son suffered longer and was even spitting up blood before he got a diagnosis.  He kept saying how lucky we were to have caught it early before more damage was done.

Two things.

First, I had never thought of it that way.  I always thought, "My kid is only 2 and he already has to limit himself.  There are things he has never tried and never will get a chance to now due to his issues.  THAT makes me so sad.  However, this man was right.  Some people suffer for a long time and damage can be severe.  Thank God we did catch this early. 

Second, it was SOOOO nice to talk for a moment with someone who really gets it.  Nobody can truly relate to me except the one who is living it.  I know people who are gluten free but not someone who has a child that has to be.  My brother has Crohn's Disease.  Devastating disease.  He survives right now with infusions every 6 weeks.  Terrible disease.  He is gluten free.  But he also doesn't know what it is like to have a child with it.  My heart aches for my brother.  I love him and I hate his disease.  However, again, only a parent knows the ache of having a child with gluten intolerance. Only a parent with a child with gluten intolerance at such a young age knows how your whole life changes and how gluten is in everything it seems.  Only a parent of a child with gluten intolerance can tell me, "Those are the nuggets you want.  We feed them to our son and this pizza is good too."  It felt good.

So that is where I am at.  Still learning.  Still praying.  Still in some denial.  Still sad.  Still frustrated but cautiously optimistic.  Still so in love with my littlest boy. 

First Day of School! First Day of School! First Day of School!

For those of you with kids you know where this phrase comes from :)  This was the first thing I thought when I woke up Tuesday morning, Sept. 3rd.  Although I wasn't excited like Nemo.  Neither was my big boy who was attending his first day of school.  We had just come off of camping over Labor Day and we were used to lazy days of sleeping in.  Plus, this was a big milestone for us...my oldest was attending school!  Yes, it is only Pre-K but in my mind this is the big step because he is now in the system and in the school he will be in for 9 more years.  My big boy has officially grown up in my eyes.

A happy but nervous boy.  His breakfast of choice was French toast and I packed a special drawing I made for him to find in his snack box :)

The night before he was nervous. I could tell.  A little more reserved.  Didn't eat much for dinner.  Didn't want to help me prep anything (i.e., pick out what new clothes he wanted to wear, choose his snack for the next day, pack his bag.)  I didn't push him.  Mentioned it a few times and let it go.  He also had a meltdown about not wanting to try hamburg (we have a rule...you must try the food on your plate, you don't need to eat it though.)  I know the meltdown was a result more of the stress than anything else.

Then the morning came.  Again, I could tell he was nervous.  I tried to go as slow as possible in the morning to try to not make anything too rushed for him.  My mother came over to take a few pics and see him off at his request.  She also watched my youngest so that it could just be me and Handsome 1, which was nice.  I brought him to school because I thought it would be too overwhelming for him to get on the bus with kids age Pre-K through 12 and I had to peel him off me for the trial bus run the week before when it was just the Pre-K kids so I brought him to school.  We hung his bag, turned in his school supplies.  I went over with him where his snack was one more time and assured him his snuggly (Roar) was in his bag and with his teacher's permission, he could leave the class to go in the hall and see it if needed.  Thankfully, she said that was fine.  We did some "bonding" a squeezing technique his OT said would be good to do to help calm him.  I showed him on the clock what time it was and what time he would leave (something we used to do with preschool until he was comfortable.)  We had lots of hugs and kisses and a little "I don't want you to go" and then he was off with his teacher and I was out the door. Wow.  A lot easier than I thought for both of us!  No tears were shed by either of us.  I guess we were both more ready than I thought.

Before I knew it, it was already time to meet him for the bus (it is a half day program and only the Pre-K kids ride the bus home).  He looked so proud getting off the bus and happy to see MeMe, Mama, Handsome 2, Uncle T and his girlfriend and Buster waiting for him.  He said his day was great and his teacher texted me to tell me it was as well.  Phew....

I have made the right decision.

He could have gone to K but he would have been the youngest.  I decided to hold him back one more year.  He could have stayed at his preschool but he would have been with kids a lot younger.  I decided to send him to Pre-K.  He is happy.  I am happy.  This was the right choice.

Day 2 made me nervous.  This was the day that was hard for him when he attended preschool.  This time I had his brother with me too.  However, he did awesome again.  He was excited to show his brother his school and classroom and excited to show off his brother a little too I think :)  We parted just as yesterday except no bonding needed, no clock check and no clinging just a little.  Awesome!  Guess who cried though?!  His brother!  He didn't want to leave big brother.  Too cute...

Now we are on Day 3 and all is still going well.  We ran a little later than last two drop offs and we hit drop off traffic.  He was worried he would be late.  LOL.  He entered the room and didn't look back. I am so incredibly proud of my big boy.  He has come so far.  His teacher says he is adjusting really well and he tells me he is enjoying it.  He wishes he could stay longer and looks forward to each day.  He says he has made a friend.  So proud.  He has grown from a shy little boy who wouldn't do anything without Mama stuck to his side to a boy who is excited to adventure out on his own in this new territory and I couldn't be prouder of him.

Way to go Handsome 2.  Way to go.  Momma is so incredibly proud of you.  Keep up the good work.  Mama loves you.

Note:  As I finished typing this on Day 3 I got a text from my son's teacher.  She said he had fallen asleep in class and she let him sleep until it was time to get on the bus but that he just seemed "off".  He was quieter.  She said she asked him if he felt well and he said, "Yes, just tired."  She wanted me to know and said there was a bug going around.  ALREADY?!  Then I got a call from my Mom.  He had gotten off the bus and looked horrible.  She took his temp and it was high so I ran home and brought him some medicine.  He ran a high fever all night and medicine had a hard time keeping it down.  He threw up once at my Mom's when he tried to eat...he was so hungry.  He had to miss school the next day and his OT. Three days in and already he was sick.  Yuck.

Bus Ride!

So my big boy finished preschool (so sad...I LOVED his teacher and school.)  He has grown so much in the year and a half I had him there.  He grew from a shy boy who wouldn't leave my side to a confident boy.  I debated on whether to keep him there and had full intention of doing so as I loved the program (huge focus on the individual, health and good nutrition...all natural foods, organic, no preservatives or dyes, etc.) so much and he enjoyed his time, but most of his friends were moving on to the pre-k program so I felt he should be among kids his age.  He could have gone to K as he made the cut-off but I just didn't feel he was ready.  So pre-k it is for him!

He got to do a practice bus ride the end of August.  The bus ride went well.  Handsome 1 was definitely nervous.  Handsome 2 was excited!  LOL. We had tears but not from me! Handsome 1 cried and I had to bring him on the bus and offer tons of praise and encouragement but he went.  Handsome 2 cried because he couldn't go.  LOL.  My kids were the only two crying and for totally different reasons!

The bus brought them right to the school and they got to check out the playground, take a picture of the "class" and meet teachers and potential classmates.  (They got to meet the teacher and explore the classroom in an individual visit a couple weeks earlier.)

Handsome 2 said he had fun and is excited to ride the bus.  He loves the playground.  I can tell he is still very nervous though.  He is definitely his mother's child.  I know I was the same way :)

"Living and Active" 5-Week Challenge from "Peak313 Fitness"

So I don't talk about this much on my blog because the topic is probably the most personal to me.  It is probably my greatest struggle. 

My weight.

I don't want to sound like I am blaming all others for my weight because I know it is all me. 

However, what I also know is I am a people pleaser.

I can't say no.

I spread myself thin trying to make sure everyone else is happy.

I live for my children and my family.

I put everyone else first.

This means putting myself last.

This means skipping workouts.

This means skipping meals.

Another thing I know is that I am a stress eater. 

Give me some stress and food (preferably carbs and sweets) will "fix" it for me.

All of this of course is a HORRIBLE mix.

I am working on it but I am a complete work in progress.

I do get exercise more now (loving my Zumba classes and my Zumba ladies!) but I don't go to every class because once again, I put my family first.

If I am at home then I am most likely NOT going to exercise.  By the time I am home I switch to domestic mode and I cook, clean, mother, etc.  "Finding time" to exercise doesn't happen until after the kids are in bed and by then, I am exhausted/highly unmotivated.

Get up early then you may say.

I can tell you right now that WILL NOT happen.  I have NEVER been a morning person.  Make me get up in the morning and I will be one crabby apple. Ask me to get up to exercise...yeah right.

Excuses right?  I know. 

What about my diet? 

Well that is another story.  Besides the stress eating I just plainly don't have the will power.  I try and do well often for a few months and then I give in to a craving.  An urge. Then I go into a tailspin.  Then I have a hard time getting back.

So there you have it.  My biggest flaws.  My biggest imperfections for you all to read.

Why am I writing this all you may say?

Well for one, none of us are perfect and while we often talk about the wonderful things in our life I think it is important we talk about our flaws too.  Those things that make us human.  We need to show our vulnerabilities so others can see that we all struggle and perhaps relate.  And for us, it allows us to own them. 

It is also the LONG way of telling you I just signed up for the "Living Active" 5-week challenge.  It seemed simple enough, a friend was doing it, and I liked that it mixed Scripture with health.  So I did it.  And for the most part, I am looking forward to it. 

It starts today.  I have to memorize this verse:

And I need to find a "buddy" (I am doing this with a friend of mine).

 

And I need to get at least 25-minutes of exercise at least 4 times this week and "check in" with my buddy twice both on a spiritual level and a physical one.

 

I like its simplicity because I KNOW it wont be that simple for me.

 

My plan is to continue what I have been doing for diet.  Working on eating less late at night (a huge problem for me...I am also an idle eater...don't keep my mind fully engaged and I will eat.)  Working on eating more fruits and veggies and drinking water is also something else I am going to work on.  And for exercise, my plan is to try the video Monday that was posted for lower impact exercises.  I previewed it Sunday and it looked doable but will definitely be a good workout for me.  Tuesday will be Zumba.  Wednesday if the weather is nice I will most likely mow the lawn.  Thursday will be Zumba again.  I would typically space it out more but we have a busy weekend planned and I want to make sure I get what I need to in and will incorporate as much exercise as I can into our weekend but will feel good knowing I got some scheduled exercise in before the weekend hits.

 

So that is it. 

 

A 5-week challenge.

 

Oh and I need to take before and after pictures and measurements.  To be honest, I am not wanting to do this part as I don't think I will notice any change.  However, I will do it just in case I do ;)

 

Ready or not, here I go.

Going Gluten Free

So the biggest change in our household with Handsome 2's digestive "issues" has been going gluten free.  For my husband it has been a huge change (although he and my oldest still eat gluten) but for me it was not that big of a deal initially as I have been eating mainly gluten free over the last year to help with the inflammation from my endometriosis.  However, what I often pushed off in my head was the fact that my son would not get to just "eat what he wants when he wants" anymore and this realization kind of hits me in the face from time to time.  Like when for a special treat my oldest asked why they could no longer go to McDonald's.  Or when we recently attended a family gathering that was a potluck and there would be cake.

Gasp!

I can't control that environment.  I can't tell everyone to make sure there isn't gluten in everything they make.

He  can't have the cake!

The panic subsided quickly as I took a breath and realized I would focus on what I could control.

I would make a fruit platter and dip (always a hit) that EVERYONE could eat.

I would bring some snacks I knew he could have.

I would make gluten free cupcakes!

And so I did.

I even "inconvenienced" the host and asked if I could see the back of the chip bag if she still had it (of course she obliged and did not act inconvenienced)but realizing it is okay to ask and not feel bad about it was a step for me.  I read the packaging of things not yet opened (I am getting really good at reading labels I am telling you)  I offered the snacks I had brought.  I was honest with my son with why he couldn't have a certain food, "It makes your belly hurt 'bug'" I said and that seemed to satisfy him.  

I did it.  

We did it.

We survived.

We only had one instance of, "NO!!!  He can't have that!" As I leaped into action.  

I would say that is the only thing I have not yet relaxed on.  I don't let him out of my site.  I just don't trust that others fully understand "gluten-free" and what that means as well as what it means for him if you give it to him. (Just today my Father-in-Law attempted to give my son a cookie...a regular gluten filled cookie.)

I am sure that will come with time.

It is a challenge.  

It is hard.

I want to cry sometimes and I want to throw in the towel. 

I don't though because this is my son.

My son I would move mountains for.

My son I make special food for just so he can enjoy it too.

Oh and the cupcakes?  Everyone said they were great. My oldest said, "You make the best cupcakes Momma!" (He only eats the frosting though and I didn't have to change that.)  I however thought they tested a little "ricey" though so I will be trying another GF cake mix next time.  Trial and error is the name of the game for me right now.   Trial and error and lots of learning. 

 

We are doing it.  We are going gluten free. 

measured up motherhood defined

Another great post by Rachel over at Finding Joy.

I have said a hundred times it seems but will say it again she is so brutely honest and she speaks right to my heart.  We as mothers need to hear more of what she says.  We need to share our struggles just as much as our joys.

Here is what she said that hit me the strongest:

You are mother. 

Lets measure that for a while. Not based on the externals that you do, but on the little things - those little things matter moments. 

You are the perfect answer for the skinned knee. You know which child loves his pbj cut into triangles and which loves the squares. You know how to look them in the eye and tell them you love them. You know how to roll yourself out of bed in the morning even though you're exhausted. You can split the last of the cereal in equal ways. You can find the missing soccer shoe in thirty two seconds. You can discern between cries between the I'm irritated cry and the brother took my toy cry and the I fell down and hurt my knee cry. You can answer to the words mom fifty two times in what feels like fifty two seconds. 

When I feel like I am not doing enough or I am not enough I need to remember this. She is right. I am the one that knows all these things. I am the one that does all of these things. I am a mother and we all need our mothers.

If you would like to read her whole post you can find it here:
measured up motherhood defined

Life With Boys...

...means interesting conversations in the supermarket.

I just have to share our grocery shopping trip the past two weeks.  If this continues, I think the store is going to lock its doors when it sees us coming!

Two weeks ago I took both boys grocery shopping with me as I often do.  Handsome 2 loves to go anywhere and do anything that Handsome 1 does and Handsome 1 LOVES to grocery shop with me so both boys have been coming regularly.  Also, Handsome 1 doesn't like to be left out so if Handsome 2 comes, so will he :)  I know some Moms like grocery shopping alone, it is their piece of sanity.  I agree that it can be fun to get out alone AND it goes a lot faster, a lot smoother, and the chance to "browse" is nice too.  However, I do enjoy the time with them...the trip surely is never dull and these past two weeks, they have made it even more interesting.

So back to two weeks ago, we were doing well (for the most part I am very impressed with how my very busy and very active boys act at the age of just 2 and 4) in the grocery store (especially since it usually happens after an already busy and probably to them, boring day) when suddenly the topic of basic conversation changed to the topic of farts.  Yes, farts.  Why it changed to that I have no idea.  However, soon talking about farts escalated and there was lots of giggles and lots more talk.  I quickly calmed them and thought we had escaped too much humiliation until we got in the check out line.  That is when Handsome 2 announced, "I farted!" (giggles) "I stink!"  (more giggles).  Then Handsome 1 chimed in with laughing too and announcing what his brother did.  I quieted them again but I must say I smiled a little inside while thinking, "This is my life.  My life with boys."  :)

Now, we are shopping again this week and we decide we need to use the bathroom.  We all crowd into the handicap stall so we can all fit since Handsome 1 doesn't want to go into another stall alone.  Now I will pause here for a minute to say I am waiting for the stare or look of disgust from someone who is upset I am bringing my boys into a ladies room but let me tell you I will NOT be having him go into a men's room alone anytime soon.  If there isn't a family restroom, they will be with me. 

I digress though...so Handsome 2 is going potty and he is so small still he has to stand on the seat to reach it and then Handsome 1 uses it but he can just walk up to it.  Then I take my turn and obviously sit.  Handsome 1 says, "Handsome 2, when you get bigger you will sit on the potty too!"  I correct him and say,  "No he will stand like you cause he is a boy."  (In retrospect this was my mistake, but I am always honest with my boys and open with them and I had no idea the conversation would go where it did.)  Handsome 1 says, "But why do you sit and we wont?"  I say, "Because you have a penis and you can stand.  Mommy doesn't have one so she can't.  She has to sit"  Now I know some of you may be thinking wow, way too much info but again I remind you I have always been open with my kids and we use the correct terminology for body parts, I have been open with any questions they have and I don't act like body parts are gross or off topic, etc.  I am matter-of-fact I would say.  My Mom was this way with us and I never grew up ashamed or afraid of my body, etc. and I hope I create this with my boys.
Again, I digress though.  So Handsome 1 goes on to say that he, "knows I have one."  He has "seen it." (I will tell you he has seen me naked but I don't make a habit of prancing in front of him or anything.)  I correct him and say, "No.  Mommy does not have one.  Mommy is a girl and girl's don't have penises."  Then I pause for a moment as I realize I have never told him what girls have.  It hasn't really come up.  As much as I am open and honest I try to follow their lead and offer info only of which they ask.  I decide this is the time to tell them what girls have.  "Girl's have vaginas" I say.  "Ginas?!"  Handsome 1 says, "That is a funny name...why would they call it that!?"  I tell him I am not sure and leave it at that.  However, Handsome 2 doesn't leave it at that.  Handsome 1 is satisfied but now Handsome 2 feels the need to chime in so we spend most of the fruit and veggie aisle trying to get Handsome 2 to stop announcing he has a penis and saying, "It right there" complete with pointing.  Sigh...

Finally, Handsome 1 chimes in and says, "Could we stop all this privacy talk!"  I second Handsome 1 and thankfully Handsome 2 obliges.

Oh the life with boys.....