Sometimes I just need to hear this...I think all of us mother's do at some point...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-morrison/motherhood_b_2271349.html
Happy mothering everyone :)
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Friday, November 2, 2012
Fridays Fun Facts- Miles
I have been TERRIBLE about blogging stats and I want to try to do so to remember these things later. So here goes Miles' first stats in forever (if I did them at all yet...yikes!)
Miles, you are 15 months old now.
Where has the time gone?!
You are such a happy little guy, unless you get mad. When you are mad, you are MAD. You throw things, you plop on the floor and you hit. You have a tantrum for sure! As I said though, for the most part, you are such a happy and easy going baby.
You also LOVE your Mommy. You often wont go to anyone including Daddy if Mommy is around but you have gotten a little better at this. At the MD's office yesterday for your ear check (you have another infection..sigh) you went over to the PA on your own and leaned up against him and then patted his leg. It was so cute.
You LOVE to eat. We aren't sure where you are putting it. You are huskier than your brother but you are still only 50th percentile for weight and 74th for height. You are 29 inches and 24 lbs! You wear size 18 mos clothes but can wear some 24 mos and even some 2T. You are in a size 5 shoe and you are still in cloth diapers.
You have been dealing with a reoccurring "sore" on your "male part" but you have been such a trooper about it. I swear you and your brother are "allergic" to your own pee!
You are teething like CRAZY! You would hardly know it though. You are such a trooper. The only way I knew was I saw some pearly whites poking in through your back gums when you laughed so I went in for a "feel" with my finger and found out you had 3 molars coming in! You got your first set of teeth (your front two bottom) at 11 mos then have been working on your front top FOUR for forever and just a few weeks ago the top right came through and just recently the top right canine and then as I mentioned you got a bottom right molar and a top left! Poor guy they are coming all at once!
Back to eating, you are more of a meat kid like your Dada. You eat vegetables but they aren't your fav. You love sweets and carbs so I am afraid you take after Mommy there. You are walking as of 13 mos and you practically run now. You are a little off balance lately due to your ears :( You fall less frequently though (you used to lead with your head and always have had a bruise or two on it).
You love to play with your brother. You think he is so great. He always can make you laugh.
You love music and use your own sign for it (you wave your open palm from side to side) and recently you have gotten into stories. You have a favorite book and pretty much have a fit if Mommy tries to read you something else. You love the book "Your Personal Penguin" by Sandra Boynton. Mommy and Daddy got it for you when we went away for the day for our 5 year anniversary. You also particularly like one page (it has the penguin standing by himself in a circle and you always point to him. Often you hate it when I read the rest of the story and can't wait to get back to that page. You do like turning the pages for me but do it at lightning speed so Mommy has to read fast. Luckily I pretty much have the book memorized now :)
You use the signs "more" and "all done" (usually related to food) and you wave bye and blow kisses when you feel like it :) You say "mama" and "bye" frequently. You also say, "eee" for "wee" when you like something like swinging or riding a toy. You know how to say "up", "dada", "baba", and "papa" but you don't use it much anymore (this makes me worry about your ears.) You also used to say "light" all the time but don't anymore either. You love lights and love when someone lets you turn them off and on.
You like baths but you are an "in and out" of the bath kid unlike your brother who would shrivel up in there!
You suck your thumb when you are tired mainly or for comfort. I wish you took a pacifier but you loved your thumb. It will be harder to break you from this.
You still nurse twice a day (first thing in the morning and right before bed) or whenever I offer in between.
You wake up SOOO cranky and I think it is because you are hungry. You aren't a morning person just like Mommy.
You go to bed very well (between 7:30 and 8:00) but have been waking once in the early AM for a snuggle with Mommy then you are back to bed for the rest of the morning. Often then if I let you, you would sleep late. I know I should try to get you to put yourself back to sleep but I cherish these times, they wont last forever.
You are still in a crib and so far have made no attempt to climb out. We keep your bed mattress at an angle because you seem to always have stuffiness as soon as we lay it down. We also started a pillow in bed for you since you like to bunch all your blankets up and lay your head on them. Mommy always has to go back in after you fall asleep to cover you.
Well buddy, I could go on and on (I kind of already have!). You are just so amazing and such a blessing in my life. I thank God every day for you. Love you!
Miles, you are 15 months old now.
Where has the time gone?!
You also LOVE your Mommy. You often wont go to anyone including Daddy if Mommy is around but you have gotten a little better at this. At the MD's office yesterday for your ear check (you have another infection..sigh) you went over to the PA on your own and leaned up against him and then patted his leg. It was so cute.
You LOVE to eat. We aren't sure where you are putting it. You are huskier than your brother but you are still only 50th percentile for weight and 74th for height. You are 29 inches and 24 lbs! You wear size 18 mos clothes but can wear some 24 mos and even some 2T. You are in a size 5 shoe and you are still in cloth diapers.
You have been dealing with a reoccurring "sore" on your "male part" but you have been such a trooper about it. I swear you and your brother are "allergic" to your own pee!
You are teething like CRAZY! You would hardly know it though. You are such a trooper. The only way I knew was I saw some pearly whites poking in through your back gums when you laughed so I went in for a "feel" with my finger and found out you had 3 molars coming in! You got your first set of teeth (your front two bottom) at 11 mos then have been working on your front top FOUR for forever and just a few weeks ago the top right came through and just recently the top right canine and then as I mentioned you got a bottom right molar and a top left! Poor guy they are coming all at once!
Back to eating, you are more of a meat kid like your Dada. You eat vegetables but they aren't your fav. You love sweets and carbs so I am afraid you take after Mommy there. You are walking as of 13 mos and you practically run now. You are a little off balance lately due to your ears :( You fall less frequently though (you used to lead with your head and always have had a bruise or two on it).
You love to play with your brother. You think he is so great. He always can make you laugh.
You love music and use your own sign for it (you wave your open palm from side to side) and recently you have gotten into stories. You have a favorite book and pretty much have a fit if Mommy tries to read you something else. You love the book "Your Personal Penguin" by Sandra Boynton. Mommy and Daddy got it for you when we went away for the day for our 5 year anniversary. You also particularly like one page (it has the penguin standing by himself in a circle and you always point to him. Often you hate it when I read the rest of the story and can't wait to get back to that page. You do like turning the pages for me but do it at lightning speed so Mommy has to read fast. Luckily I pretty much have the book memorized now :)
You use the signs "more" and "all done" (usually related to food) and you wave bye and blow kisses when you feel like it :) You say "mama" and "bye" frequently. You also say, "eee" for "wee" when you like something like swinging or riding a toy. You know how to say "up", "dada", "baba", and "papa" but you don't use it much anymore (this makes me worry about your ears.) You also used to say "light" all the time but don't anymore either. You love lights and love when someone lets you turn them off and on.
You like baths but you are an "in and out" of the bath kid unlike your brother who would shrivel up in there!
You suck your thumb when you are tired mainly or for comfort. I wish you took a pacifier but you loved your thumb. It will be harder to break you from this.
You still nurse twice a day (first thing in the morning and right before bed) or whenever I offer in between.
You wake up SOOO cranky and I think it is because you are hungry. You aren't a morning person just like Mommy.
You go to bed very well (between 7:30 and 8:00) but have been waking once in the early AM for a snuggle with Mommy then you are back to bed for the rest of the morning. Often then if I let you, you would sleep late. I know I should try to get you to put yourself back to sleep but I cherish these times, they wont last forever.
You are still in a crib and so far have made no attempt to climb out. We keep your bed mattress at an angle because you seem to always have stuffiness as soon as we lay it down. We also started a pillow in bed for you since you like to bunch all your blankets up and lay your head on them. Mommy always has to go back in after you fall asleep to cover you.
Well buddy, I could go on and on (I kind of already have!). You are just so amazing and such a blessing in my life. I thank God every day for you. Love you!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Thankful Thursday
Today I am thankful for hymns that speak to me. I have learned a few I love and now sing often to Miles. Below is one we sang in church last Sunday and I loved, so I am going to learn this as well. There is something that is so wonderfully touching and calming about hymns. It is so wonderful when you can hear God speaking to you or reaching out to you in a hymn. It truly touches your soul. Thus, on this Thankful Thursday I am thankful for the gift of hymns that touch the heart.
I sing a song of the saints of God,
patient and brave and true,
who toiled and fought and lived and died
for the Lord they loved and knew.
And one was a doctor, and one was a queen,
and one was a shepherdess on the green;
they were all of them saints of God, and I mean,
God helping, to be one too.
They loved their Lord so dear, so dear,
and his love made them strong;
and they followed the right for Jesus' sake
the whole of their good lives long.
And one was a soldier, and one was a priest,
and one was slain by a fierce wild beast;
and there's not any reason, no, not the least,
why I shouldn't be one too.
They lived not only in ages past;
there are hundreds of thousands still.
The world is bright with the joyous saints
who love to do Jesus' will.
You can meet them in school, on the street, in the store,
in church, by the sea, in the house next door;
they are saints of God, whether rich or poor,
and I mean to be one too.
May we all strive to be "Saints of God". Happy Thankful Thursday everyone!
I sing a song of the saints of God,
patient and brave and true,
who toiled and fought and lived and died
for the Lord they loved and knew.
And one was a doctor, and one was a queen,
and one was a shepherdess on the green;
they were all of them saints of God, and I mean,
God helping, to be one too.
They loved their Lord so dear, so dear,
and his love made them strong;
and they followed the right for Jesus' sake
the whole of their good lives long.
And one was a soldier, and one was a priest,
and one was slain by a fierce wild beast;
and there's not any reason, no, not the least,
why I shouldn't be one too.
They lived not only in ages past;
there are hundreds of thousands still.
The world is bright with the joyous saints
who love to do Jesus' will.
You can meet them in school, on the street, in the store,
in church, by the sea, in the house next door;
they are saints of God, whether rich or poor,
and I mean to be one too.
May we all strive to be "Saints of God". Happy Thankful Thursday everyone!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
true real life motherhood.
Once again Rachel has spoken directly to me. I don't even know this woman but she knows what I need to hear! Thank you Rachel for yet another amazing post. Here it is below:
true real life motherhood.
Once again, so true. I LOVE being a Mom. I read recently in a young Mom's obituary (so sad) that her greatest joy was being a Mom. It is my greatest joy too. Being a Mom is the thing I am most proud of as well. Yet, the thing I struggle with the most (aside from the struggle with feeling like I need to be there 100% for my children 100% of the time so as to not miss anything) is struggling with feeling like what I do doesn't matter.
I get tired of the fact that I pick up that wrapper my husband left on the counter, I put away the shoes the boys and my husband left in front of the door. I hang up that coat left on the floor. I work endlessly on that pile of laundry. I wipe the counter free of crumbs. I do this day after day and nobody seems to notice. Yes, I know, I shouldn't need the validation of others to know my work is important. I shouldn't need someone else to tell me I matter and they see those little things I do. However, for whatever reason, I do need that. Those little every day things take up so much time when you put them all together yet I often feel like they don't matter because I feel like nobody notices them.
Thank you again for your post Rachel. I needed to hear it.
true real life motherhood.
Once again, so true. I LOVE being a Mom. I read recently in a young Mom's obituary (so sad) that her greatest joy was being a Mom. It is my greatest joy too. Being a Mom is the thing I am most proud of as well. Yet, the thing I struggle with the most (aside from the struggle with feeling like I need to be there 100% for my children 100% of the time so as to not miss anything) is struggling with feeling like what I do doesn't matter.
I get tired of the fact that I pick up that wrapper my husband left on the counter, I put away the shoes the boys and my husband left in front of the door. I hang up that coat left on the floor. I work endlessly on that pile of laundry. I wipe the counter free of crumbs. I do this day after day and nobody seems to notice. Yes, I know, I shouldn't need the validation of others to know my work is important. I shouldn't need someone else to tell me I matter and they see those little things I do. However, for whatever reason, I do need that. Those little every day things take up so much time when you put them all together yet I often feel like they don't matter because I feel like nobody notices them.
Thank you again for your post Rachel. I needed to hear it.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Mom Monday
You Know You're A Mom When...
- You buy a new car based on how much room it will have for kids and storage.
- Halloween is a big event in your house again.
- You find yourself going to bed earlier than you ever have and you often need a nap too!
- You find yourself eating scraps of food for dinner versus a real meal.
- You know more children's songs than you ever did as a child it seems, and often find yourself singing
them even when NOT in the presence of your child!
Happy Monday Moms!
- You buy a new car based on how much room it will have for kids and storage.
- Halloween is a big event in your house again.
- You find yourself going to bed earlier than you ever have and you often need a nap too!
- You find yourself eating scraps of food for dinner versus a real meal.
- You know more children's songs than you ever did as a child it seems, and often find yourself singing
them even when NOT in the presence of your child!
Happy Monday Moms!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
Mom Monday
You Know You're A Mom When...
- You find yourself dreading a bath. What once used to be a relaxing time for you is now a busy time that requires trying to keep an active toddler from slipping and keeping water IN the tub.
- Your "down time" is no longer to relax it is a time to get chores done!
- You find yourself eating standing up or on the fly way more and in fact you can't remember the last time you sat through an entire meal!
- Your living room gets rearranged not to add a piece of furniture but to make more space for toys!
- Your bathroom mirror now often has "gel clings" stuck on it and often in the middle or bunched somewhere else on it!
- You find yourself dreading a bath. What once used to be a relaxing time for you is now a busy time that requires trying to keep an active toddler from slipping and keeping water IN the tub.
- Your "down time" is no longer to relax it is a time to get chores done!
- You find yourself eating standing up or on the fly way more and in fact you can't remember the last time you sat through an entire meal!
- Your living room gets rearranged not to add a piece of furniture but to make more space for toys!
- Your bathroom mirror now often has "gel clings" stuck on it and often in the middle or bunched somewhere else on it!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
why you need to slow down and embrace today.
Here we go again with my "guest blogger" Rachel. She just does such a wonderful job capturing the thoughts of so many Mommies I think. Here is her latest post:
why you need to slow down and embrace today.
This is something I actually do not struggle with. I have been very good at taking those moments and just embracing them. I am very well aware they are only young once and we need to enjoy it while we can. However, I have moved away from this and that is for one reason alone.
My husband.
It frustrates the heck out him when the laundry piles up, dishes pile up, dinner is late, the house is a mess, etc. We frequently would have this discussion where I would say, "I would rather live in a messy house and know that I took the time with my kids" or "I would rather have the laundry piled up than feel like I missed out on that book they wanted me to read." I could go on and on. His answer is, "We all would love to just spend all our time with our kids but things have to get done. "
We are both right.
Before you say, "well he could pitch in then." Let me assure you that he does. It is just those things that are "my responsibility" that fall behind that bother him. Plus, he and I are just different. "The mess" doesn't bother me. It bothers him. If he let the house fall apart because he was spending time with the kids I would be okay with it. He on the other hand, is not. We both see the kids as a priority. We just see things differently as to when "enough is enough" and we have to say "no" and take care of the "chores." Our tolerance level is different and it is then that we butt heads.
So what is the balance? When is it a good idea to tell your child no? When is it not okay for the laundry to pile up? How high is too high for a pile of dishes?
I don't know the answer. If someone does, please tell me. I would love to know. I don't struggle with slowing down to embrace today. I struggle with when is it okay and when is it not. Where is the balance? How do you create one? That is what I would like to know.
why you need to slow down and embrace today.
This is something I actually do not struggle with. I have been very good at taking those moments and just embracing them. I am very well aware they are only young once and we need to enjoy it while we can. However, I have moved away from this and that is for one reason alone.
My husband.
It frustrates the heck out him when the laundry piles up, dishes pile up, dinner is late, the house is a mess, etc. We frequently would have this discussion where I would say, "I would rather live in a messy house and know that I took the time with my kids" or "I would rather have the laundry piled up than feel like I missed out on that book they wanted me to read." I could go on and on. His answer is, "We all would love to just spend all our time with our kids but things have to get done. "
We are both right.
Before you say, "well he could pitch in then." Let me assure you that he does. It is just those things that are "my responsibility" that fall behind that bother him. Plus, he and I are just different. "The mess" doesn't bother me. It bothers him. If he let the house fall apart because he was spending time with the kids I would be okay with it. He on the other hand, is not. We both see the kids as a priority. We just see things differently as to when "enough is enough" and we have to say "no" and take care of the "chores." Our tolerance level is different and it is then that we butt heads.
So what is the balance? When is it a good idea to tell your child no? When is it not okay for the laundry to pile up? How high is too high for a pile of dishes?
I don't know the answer. If someone does, please tell me. I would love to know. I don't struggle with slowing down to embrace today. I struggle with when is it okay and when is it not. Where is the balance? How do you create one? That is what I would like to know.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Mom Monday
You Know You're A Mom When...
- You never turn your cell phone off no matter where you are when away from your kids...you never know when you may be needed.
- You hurry home at night in hopes of catching your kids before they go to bed no matter what you are doing.
- Your living room doubles as a toy/play room.
- You don't remember the last time you got a full nights sleep and woke up feeling rested.
- You don't remember the last time you slept in.
Happy Monday Moms!
- You never turn your cell phone off no matter where you are when away from your kids...you never know when you may be needed.
- You hurry home at night in hopes of catching your kids before they go to bed no matter what you are doing.
- Your living room doubles as a toy/play room.
- You don't remember the last time you got a full nights sleep and woke up feeling rested.
- You don't remember the last time you slept in.
Happy Monday Moms!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Thankful Thursday: "crazy beautiful motherhood"
Yet again Rachel is my "guest" blogger. She captures motherhood so well. Read her post below. It brought tears to my eyes.
crazy beautiful motherhood
She says what I often say. I am so grateful for the gift of my children that God has given me. With my endometriosis and PCOS I didn't even know if I could have each of my two miracles and carry them to term. I did. Thanks be to God. I too (and I believe I have mentioned it before) go in their rooms at night before heading to bed and just watch them sleep. If I get up at night or early in the a.m., I also go in then.
I also often say I don't want to miss anything. Hence, a big reason I changed jobs. Today I took my day off and went apple picking with the boys. I took pictures AND videotaped. I don't want to miss anything. I don't want to forget anything. These moments are so precious.
My boys are an amazing gift from God. I am so thankful. On this Thankful Thursday I am thankful for my two amazing boys.
crazy beautiful motherhood
She says what I often say. I am so grateful for the gift of my children that God has given me. With my endometriosis and PCOS I didn't even know if I could have each of my two miracles and carry them to term. I did. Thanks be to God. I too (and I believe I have mentioned it before) go in their rooms at night before heading to bed and just watch them sleep. If I get up at night or early in the a.m., I also go in then.
I also often say I don't want to miss anything. Hence, a big reason I changed jobs. Today I took my day off and went apple picking with the boys. I took pictures AND videotaped. I don't want to miss anything. I don't want to forget anything. These moments are so precious.
My boys are an amazing gift from God. I am so thankful. On this Thankful Thursday I am thankful for my two amazing boys.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Mom Monday
You Know You're A Mom When...
- You find yourself eating healthier because your kids always want what you are eating.
- You also find yourself eating healthier because your meals often are your kids leftovers.
- Your laundry is a bottomless pit no matter how hard you work to get to the bottom if it.
- Your fridge is cluttered with artwork, alphabet letters and a wipe-off calendar of every family members' appointments and activities.
- You live by your planner because you would remember nothing otherwise and sometimes, you still forget something!
Happy Monday Moms!
- You find yourself eating healthier because your kids always want what you are eating.
- You also find yourself eating healthier because your meals often are your kids leftovers.
- Your laundry is a bottomless pit no matter how hard you work to get to the bottom if it.
- Your fridge is cluttered with artwork, alphabet letters and a wipe-off calendar of every family members' appointments and activities.
- You live by your planner because you would remember nothing otherwise and sometimes, you still forget something!
Happy Monday Moms!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Thankful Thursday
Some of you may remember I used to do "Thankful Thursday" posts along with my "Mom Mondays" and "Wordless Wednesdays". I will be starting up these "Thankful" posts again because I think stopping to think of something we are thankful for in our busy and sometimes stressful or "why me" days are so important. There is a lot to be thankful for in each of our lives and stopping to notice them is important. So with that said, on this Thursday I am thankful for my "Moms Circle" in my area. When I first became a Mom I kind of felt lost. Where do I go? What should I do? Who is there to hang out with? Then one Mom with the miracle of Facebook started a little group for Moms in my area. A handful of us got together ALONE (yes without kids) and had a blast. I almost didn't go. I knew very little of most of the Moms going. However, I thought, what could it hurt? And the rest is history. There are now over 50 members in this group. We share concerns, questions, prayer requests, you name it on there. I recently needed a belt for my son for my sister's wedding and didn't have time to get out of my area to buy one. I had 3 Moms over me belts within seconds. A Mom recently had a baby and immediately many of us were setting up a meal plan to take meals to this new Mom and so many wanted to help that almost 2 weeks worth of meals for her and her family were set up within minutes! It is amazing. The support we have for one another is wonderful. We do play dates together and we do "Mommies Only Time." What I love the most aside from all the support is the many different women I meet. So, today on this "Thankful Thursday" I am thankful for the "Moms Circle" that has formed in my community.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Mom Monday
You Know You're A Mom When...
- You can never get out the door on time.
- Laundry is never ending.
- You often use your feet as extra hands.
- You can't remember the last time you did anything (and I mean ANYTHING) alone.
- Your life revolves completely around someone else other than yourself.
Happy Monday Moms!
- You can never get out the door on time.
- Laundry is never ending.
- You often use your feet as extra hands.
- You can't remember the last time you did anything (and I mean ANYTHING) alone.
- Your life revolves completely around someone else other than yourself.
Happy Monday Moms!
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Has It Only Been 5 Years?!
It hasn't been easy for sure. We have had our ups and downs but that is because we have grown so much together.
We started dating when I was a freshman in high school so I went through high school, college, a Master's degree, a house purchase, the births of our two amazing sons and so much more with him. Life brings ups and downs and we have rode them together.
I have recently finished reading an amazing book that hints at some of this. About how a relationship between a man and woman changes over time but that it isn't necessarily a bad thing. It was very empowering. So much so I want to share it with you. So stay tuned, there just might be a giveaway coming. Remember I mentioned that not long ago?
Until then, happy anniversary hubby. In sickness and in health, in good times and in bad....I love you.
Friday, September 21, 2012
And You Want More Kids?
Do I own anything now without a stain? I sighed.
My husband just looked at me across the table and smiled. "And you want more kids?" he says. "Yes." Is my reply. "You can't even handle two" he says. "Yes I can." I say. "Your idea of handling is just different." I add.
My dinner will get eaten, it just may be cold. My pants will get spot treated and washed and hopefully clean. The floor will get swept and wiped up. These moments aren't "unhandled" they just might be a little crazy. It is in these moments that I may have to take a breath but more often than not, after doing so, I then smile.
Do I want more kids? Absolutely. And I pray God sees fit to bless me with more. If not though, I can guarantee you I am going to enjoy these moments- cold dinners, stained pants and messy floors and all.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
i love you more than spilled milk
I was just reflecting myself on this very similar topic and trying to figure out how to put it into words and alas, thank you wonderful Rachel, you have said it so well.
i love you more than spilled milk
I was just thinking about how with my job being part-time I have seemed to fill my days with things and still feel like I am getting nothing done. Yesterday was one of those days.
I felt like I got nothing done at home that I needed to, I felt the pressure from my husband (whether really there or not) about what did I actually do all day (aside from work a few hours, shop for a few "new" pants for Cole at the second hand store and go to the doctors to figure out why my allergic reaction to the bee sting I got TWO weeks ago is worse not better and try really hard not to itch it..but I digress) and I was quick tempered with the kids and my husband because I was tired, hurt and bitter about getting nothing done. I finally shut myself in my husband's and my room for a bit and took a quick moment to nap but the frustration stayed even after the fatigue left.
I was just caught up in what I needed to do and had not got done and not living in the moment. I HAD gotten really good at living in the moment but I have packed my life so full right now I am not allowing time to do that. So, I am going to try a lot harder. I am not going to schedule us to the max. We are going to allow time to just be as a family. I want to live in the moment again.
I fully realize we don't have forever and that kids grow up way too fast. My kids want me 100% of the time right now and I want to thrive in that and not resent it. I do love my kids more than spilled milk. I need to start showing them that again.
i love you more than spilled milk
I was just thinking about how with my job being part-time I have seemed to fill my days with things and still feel like I am getting nothing done. Yesterday was one of those days.
I felt like I got nothing done at home that I needed to, I felt the pressure from my husband (whether really there or not) about what did I actually do all day (aside from work a few hours, shop for a few "new" pants for Cole at the second hand store and go to the doctors to figure out why my allergic reaction to the bee sting I got TWO weeks ago is worse not better and try really hard not to itch it..but I digress) and I was quick tempered with the kids and my husband because I was tired, hurt and bitter about getting nothing done. I finally shut myself in my husband's and my room for a bit and took a quick moment to nap but the frustration stayed even after the fatigue left.
I was just caught up in what I needed to do and had not got done and not living in the moment. I HAD gotten really good at living in the moment but I have packed my life so full right now I am not allowing time to do that. So, I am going to try a lot harder. I am not going to schedule us to the max. We are going to allow time to just be as a family. I want to live in the moment again.
I fully realize we don't have forever and that kids grow up way too fast. My kids want me 100% of the time right now and I want to thrive in that and not resent it. I do love my kids more than spilled milk. I need to start showing them that again.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
I went from this...
These are not my cars but I did go from a Jeep to a minivan just weeks after I changed jobs. Can you say early midlife crisis? Seriously though, things were getting cramped in my tiny Jeep. I had been driving around with the inability to have a passenger due to the front seat needing to be all the way forward due to Handsome 2's backwards facing careseat and the space between Handsome 1 and 2 was hardly enough for a child to fit and they couldn't go side by side due to the car seats shapes. Sad really. I loved Courtney (that was her name) and she served me well. I even got 2 years without payments from her! But she was coming up on some work and I knew a new car was a very real need for me so I decided to trade Courtney for this fine specimen.
I will be th first to tell you I swore up and down I would NEVER be a minivan Mom. But the alternatives are expensive if you want 3rd row seating and a lot of those options are not even being manufactured anymore so finding used could even be hard.
So, when I had my Jeep worked on one time not so long ago what did they give me for a loaner? A minivan. I swear they were in cahoots with my husband. Anyway, I drove it and thought, "Hmm. It drives well. Has so much room too! I MAY be able to do this." Then Handsome 1 told me how great the car was and he wished we could get one. Ugh. So I began looking a bit. I wanted used because I didn't want the price tag of new and I just waited for a good deal. The deal came sooner than I expected though and I got a van.
So, update #2 complete. I am now a minivan driving Mom :)
Friday, September 7, 2012
The first of many...
...updates!
At the end of July I decided to make a career change. I not only changed jobs but with that changed to part-time. Some of you may remember way back when I was pregnant with Handsome #1 I said that ideally I would work part-time but that just wasn't in the cards. Then I had Handsome #2 and I became even more drawn to part-time but again, it just didn't seem feasible. Thankfully though God heard my heartache and set plans in motion to get me to part-time so ultimately I will have more time with my kids.
I am not sure how it will all work out financially and it has put a lot of other strains on us but it just felt "right". I know my husband didn't probably appreciate me saying that but I have never felt so compelled to make a change as I did when this opportunity came up. So with that, I am at a new job and I am part-time and so far, I am loving it.
I am still perdiem at my old job, which I enjoy but also so does my husband as it is a little more financial security.
This change was a big step for me. Normally I don't just leap and hope it works out and although we crunched numbers, examined our finances, spending, etc. and also consulted a financial planner, I still feel like I just jumped and hoped for the best because nobody really knows if it will work out. I strongly feel it will.
I prayed a lot through this all and am putting my trust in God. For whatever reason, I just know this is for the best and it will all work out and maybe that is God working in me there because part of my constant prayer was for Him to show me the way and teach me to trust in Him (something I have a very hard time doing...just giving up my sense of control.)
So, update #1: I am part-time at a new job and perdiem at my old and praying it all works out in the end! :)
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Time Off
Wow. My last post was almost 2 months ago! Where has the time gone? I am not sure if anyone is still reading but if you are we have so much to talk about! So much has changed. As many of you know I was in a rut the last we talked and I was trying hard to not fall deeper. I took some time to pray, reflect and make some changes. So much has happened with changes, weddings, birthdays, and a give-away will be coming soon to kick things off again. I want to get back to writing because it is a release for me and a chance to chronicle the boys lives since I am terrible about baby books, scrapbooks, etc. So stay tuned. Lots to come!
And of course....here are the boys :)
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
My Rut
Once again this wonderful Mom of SEVEN has spoken directly to me (well at least it feels that way.)
Here is her post:
And here are my three good things from today as she suggests:
1. Nursing my son. It is such an amazing connection and to be nursing him at just weeks shy of his 1st birthday makes me so happy. I wanted to make it to at least a year but wasn't sure I would get there...it is so close now...so close. That makes me smile.
2. Snuggling with my older son squished into a chair too small for the both of us. At almost 4 years old I relish these moments from my usually too busy to eat, sleep, or go pee boy :)
3. Coming home tired from a long day both physically and mentally and telling my husband I was tired, hot and thirsty and he brought me a glass of water. The little things mean so much.
And now, as she suggested, I am figuring out the one thing I will work on. I will get out of this rut. I am determined. Thank you Rachel!
Here is her post:
And here are my three good things from today as she suggests:
1. Nursing my son. It is such an amazing connection and to be nursing him at just weeks shy of his 1st birthday makes me so happy. I wanted to make it to at least a year but wasn't sure I would get there...it is so close now...so close. That makes me smile.
2. Snuggling with my older son squished into a chair too small for the both of us. At almost 4 years old I relish these moments from my usually too busy to eat, sleep, or go pee boy :)
3. Coming home tired from a long day both physically and mentally and telling my husband I was tired, hot and thirsty and he brought me a glass of water. The little things mean so much.
And now, as she suggested, I am figuring out the one thing I will work on. I will get out of this rut. I am determined. Thank you Rachel!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Outdoor Fun
Sunday, June 24, 2012
And Another...And Another...And Another!
The past month or so has been full of a lot of "firsts" for my youngest little man. We went camping for Memorial Day and Miles "pulled up" all by himself to standing for the first time. Miles also began moving around more in the last 30 days and just in the last two weeks or so is "trying out" many different forms of crawling. He started with this "flopping seal" maneuver that you really have to see to understand. I have tried capturing it on video but haven't been very successful. He gets up on his hands and toes in a push up position and then pushes off with his toes and flops on his belly. Repeat.
He spins in a circle on his belly too and sometimes uses his feet as propellers. Recently though he also has started pulling his knees under him in an attempt to move forward (he can get up on his hands and knees and rock but he flops on his belly instead of trying to coordinate his arms and legs moving in sync.) But even more recently he stands on his feet and hands in a "downward facing dog" yoga position. He even more recently gets around using all three motions.
It is quite comical to watch and so funny to think how methodical Cole was in learning the "correct" way and doing it just right and as soon as he could, but Miles on the other hand has done it all in his own time and in his own way. Love it.
Another big "first" is that Miles "popped" his first tooth on Friday, June 22nd at 11 months old! On Thursday I thought I felt it and that whole week his gum there was red and bulging but we had been thinking for so long he was going to get a tooth so I didn't say anything. It did look like it was coming though and it sure did! He had been fussy and clingy too so that makes sense now. It is his bottom right front tooth. We are still nursing and so far it hasn't bothered me but it is still very new so we shall see. He was bothering me more the past few weeks biting and his saliva changed too I think because that was creating "issues" for me. I figured he was teething and I was right!
So those are the major "firsts" for now. Miles is growing up so fast. His appetite has shot up and he sure loves to eat. He makes this "yum yum" kind of moaning sound as he eats. It is so cute. His last visit he had lost a little weight and was only 25th percentile but man does this kid eat now so we shall see.
He is still fighting fluid in one ear too so hopefully at his one year check-up (gasp!) that will be gone.
Man, I can't believe my baby is turning one! It is amazing. I feel as if it was just yesterday I gave birth to him and I still can almost feel what it was like being pregnant with him. It is funny too because with Cole I was so excited and pushed each "big milestone." With Miles though, I am in no hurry. I felt like Cole was so old as he hit one year old, with Miles, I feel like he is still my baby. My baby that turns one next month...wow. Sniff sniff....bittersweet.
He spins in a circle on his belly too and sometimes uses his feet as propellers. Recently though he also has started pulling his knees under him in an attempt to move forward (he can get up on his hands and knees and rock but he flops on his belly instead of trying to coordinate his arms and legs moving in sync.) But even more recently he stands on his feet and hands in a "downward facing dog" yoga position. He even more recently gets around using all three motions.
Another big "first" is that Miles "popped" his first tooth on Friday, June 22nd at 11 months old! On Thursday I thought I felt it and that whole week his gum there was red and bulging but we had been thinking for so long he was going to get a tooth so I didn't say anything. It did look like it was coming though and it sure did! He had been fussy and clingy too so that makes sense now. It is his bottom right front tooth. We are still nursing and so far it hasn't bothered me but it is still very new so we shall see. He was bothering me more the past few weeks biting and his saliva changed too I think because that was creating "issues" for me. I figured he was teething and I was right!
So those are the major "firsts" for now. Miles is growing up so fast. His appetite has shot up and he sure loves to eat. He makes this "yum yum" kind of moaning sound as he eats. It is so cute. His last visit he had lost a little weight and was only 25th percentile but man does this kid eat now so we shall see.
He is still fighting fluid in one ear too so hopefully at his one year check-up (gasp!) that will be gone.
Man, I can't believe my baby is turning one! It is amazing. I feel as if it was just yesterday I gave birth to him and I still can almost feel what it was like being pregnant with him. It is funny too because with Cole I was so excited and pushed each "big milestone." With Miles though, I am in no hurry. I felt like Cole was so old as he hit one year old, with Miles, I feel like he is still my baby. My baby that turns one next month...wow. Sniff sniff....bittersweet.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Am I Enough Mom?
Once again Rachel from the above blog link has written another amazing post. I am so glad I follow her because she is speaking to my heart lately I tell you!
To summarize, she writes about how as a Mom sometimes we feel like we never give enough. We don't give enough to our kids, husband, home, volunteerism, friends, job, etc. You name it, we are asked to give more. I struggle with this constantly as you may have surmised from reading my previous posts. I feel like nobody feels like I give them enough AND whether it is real or pressure I put on myself, I feel like I need to give more to everything. I cook, I clean, I do laundry and I can't keep up with it all. It all falls behind and someone is always saying, "the house is a mess", "I need socks", "there are no clean pots", "we are going to get ants if the food isn't cleaned up from breakfast".
Yes, I admit, I put this pressure on myself too. I strive to be that perfect 50's Mom who looked perfect, kept the house perfect, met every person's needs. You know the one I am talking about right? The one depicted in re-runs of old TV shows. I want to be that woman. But alas, I am not and deep down I know I will never be.
Those around me and I as well, put so much pressure on me to be more and do more. I will never be "enough of a mom" and I am killing myself trying. I need to be happy with what I am, what I do give and what I do offer. I need to learn that I am "enough."
How? Your guess is as good as mine.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Help! My teeth just fell out!
Last night I had a dream that my teeth were falling out. It started with my front left top tooth. I noticed that it was moving and basically sunk deep into my gum. As I touched it my left top molars just fell out! I kept trying to "fix" them and wasn't sure what was going on. I didn't know what to do. Then, I woke up.
I remember reading about "what dreams mean" a while back and I was pretty sure I remembered reading about what it means if your teeth fall out so tonight, I looked it up. Here is what I found on one site...
Dreaming about teeth falling out may represent insecurity. These dreams often occur at a time of transition between one phase in life and another...Losing your teeth therefore show that today you have...feelings of insecurity and self-consciousness...
and here is what another said...
If a general feeling of loss of control accompanies your dream, of feeling helpless and anxious, then this could mean that you feel helpless and not in control of a waking life situation.
You could feel fearful and afraid of change. Is there a situation where you feel this way in your waking life?
Who me? Do I feel this way about something in my waking life? You bet I do!
Lord, now I am DREAMING about my problems. Doesn't that mean it is your mind's way of working out your problems and feelings? My poor body and mind...it can't even sleep anymore, it has to work then too! Hopefully, things will settle soon. Hopefully....
I remember reading about "what dreams mean" a while back and I was pretty sure I remembered reading about what it means if your teeth fall out so tonight, I looked it up. Here is what I found on one site...
Dreaming about teeth falling out may represent insecurity. These dreams often occur at a time of transition between one phase in life and another...Losing your teeth therefore show that today you have...feelings of insecurity and self-consciousness...
and here is what another said...
If a general feeling of loss of control accompanies your dream, of feeling helpless and anxious, then this could mean that you feel helpless and not in control of a waking life situation.
You could feel fearful and afraid of change. Is there a situation where you feel this way in your waking life?
Who me? Do I feel this way about something in my waking life? You bet I do!
Lord, now I am DREAMING about my problems. Doesn't that mean it is your mind's way of working out your problems and feelings? My poor body and mind...it can't even sleep anymore, it has to work then too! Hopefully, things will settle soon. Hopefully....
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
There's no guilt in rest?
I just had to share the above post that I read from a blog I have come across recently. I felt I needed to share it because it is such a perfect follow-up to my post about being Jaded (see below.)
I think me being jaded is in direct coorelation to my lack of "rest." My life is on a constant run. I feel guilty for any rest. Here are some examples...
A few weeks back I was EXHAUSTED. I literally was falling asleep in the middle of activities such as falling asleep clothes on in a pile of laundry I was folding on the bed. I started to go to bed earlier and the chores just built up to the point the house was embarrassingly "unlivable" to me. So what did I do? I stopped allowing myself that rest.
Last week I felt horrible for two days (sinuses I think) by the end of each day when I got home from work I had a MASSIVE headache. I wanted so badly to just go lay down but the kids needed baths, stories, to be nursed and put to bed. So what did I do the first night? I did it all and dragged my way in misery through it all. The second night? I handed the kids to my husband and said, "you deal with it" and I did lay down and I felt great after that nap. BUT, when I got up, the house was a zoo and my husband was not happy about that rest. So me, I felt guilty. Have I done it again? Nope.
There should be no guilt in rest but there is for me. I put it on myself and I feel it from others. Rest is not meant for this full-time working mother of two. This Mommy is supposed to do it all both in my mind and in the minds of others to some extent and I am supposed to do it all well, give 100% to everyone and have a smile on my face the whole time.
The result of this? Jaded.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Jaded
I have pondered my life a lot in the last year or so and as I was pondering again tonight this word popped into my head, "jaded." I immediately looked it up to get the exact definition and this is what I found as described by Merriam-Webster's dictionary:
1: fatigued by overwork : exhausted
2: made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by surfeit
Yep. That's me. Jaded.
Could I really be though I ask myself? One change I have worked hard on in the last year is to remember to be thankful for what I do have and to thank God for what He provides me instead of just asking for what I want or complaining about what I don't have. I work very hard to do that and I am honestly so ever thankful.
But, I am also jaded.
Jaded by work, my home and my life in general. It is such a complicated matter though because as much as I am jaded, I also love so much about my life. I guess you can be jaded and happy? I guess you can be so happy and so unhappy at the same time? I am such a mixed bag right now I don't know where to begin to be honest.
In many ways I am lost. I want to be found. I know only I can get myself there but in many ways I also want to just throw my hands up in the air and give up. But alas, I cannot. I have my kids. They are what keep me going. Honestly there are days that I think if I didn't have them I would just curl up in a ball and hide. Thank God for my kids. They help me see the joy in life when I am not sure I can find it.
But, as much as I hate to admit it, they are what contribute to me being jaded. They consume my time. They make chores take twice as long and going to work suck. They make me jaded and and full of life all at the same time.
I think what it comes down to is that in all the wonderful things that life has brought me and that I am forever thankful for, I have lost myself. I have given a piece of myself to work, to my home, to my children, to my husband, to my community. I live to please others and in doing so I have become jaded. My husband once said to me, "Why do you seek my approval constantly?" "Why do you care what I think?" I care because I get my validation from the approval of others. The approval of work, friends, family, children, etc., they are what I live for? Why? I don't know.
What I do know is I need to find me again. I need to live for me and this is such a hard concept for e to grasp because I think I can stop living for most things but to put myself before my children seems unfathomable. But, I need to not be jaded.
How do I make this happen though when I feel so lost? When I don't know where to begin? I have no idea. I do know that I need to look within though and stop living for others. I need to stop blaming others too. I need to fix me. I need to be un-jaded.
How do I make this happen though when I feel so lost? When I don't know where to begin? I have no idea. I do know that I need to look within though and stop living for others. I need to stop blaming others too. I need to fix me. I need to be un-jaded.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Back in February..
Cole hit another "milestone" that I don't want to overlook because I am so proud of how it went. Cole went to the dentist and had his teethed cleaned for the first time!
Cole started getting teeth at 3 months (no joke) and popped them in sets of two from that point on so by a year he had all his teeth he was going to get at that point so I was anxious to get his first cleaning in and was told 3 years old was a good age to try (I know that recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics or Dentistry or something like that actually recommend after the first tooth (3 months old in my case?!) or 1 year (whichever comes first) but that just seemed absurd to me. Cole would not have been mentally ready at 1 year.
So we did at 3 years and it could not have gone better! I thought we maybe could get him to sit in the chair and count some teeth but he did way more than that! He actually kept asking me in the waiting room when it would be his turn and then he RAN to his room shouting, "Yeah! It's my turn!" LOL. He got in the chair, laid back, opened his mouth wide and let her do a whole cleaning and a fluoride application! The only time he cried was when she was flossing (which I admit even hurts me sometimes too) and she felt so bad she immediately stopped. He didn't complain though, just cried silent tears...poor guy! He even took her hand and walked off with her to get his sticker and toy (I heard him negotiating for a second toy...lol...he did get a sticker AND toy out of her though.)
On a side note, I think he may be a lawyer some day? He still is always trying to negotiate. Instead of two bites of dinner, how about one? Instead of I put my shoes on how about you do it? Instead of....you name it...he will try to work a deal :)
I digress though. Proud of you big boy! You did great. I hope our next visit coming up goes just as well and oh yeah, no cavities again! Good work buddy!
Friday, June 8, 2012
Cole and the Blue Crayon...
So my sweet little do-nothing -wrong (well hardly ever) kid shocked me when I walked into his room to help him clean it with this (and by clean it I meant vacuum the floor, pick up toys, etc.)...
I was shocked. I didn't know I would be cleaning the walls! Honestly I was shocked. This is a kid that we never really needed locks on cabinets or plugs in sockets and never had to worry about pennies on the floor. He just never did anything wrong. So I was shocked that this was the act of this innocent face...
Look at him. Does he look like he would do something like that? Now this guy on the other hand...
I love this little man to pieces but I am telling you he has a twinkle in his eye and a fiery spirit that I know is gonna give us a run for our money. So, yes, I would expect it from him. God love him.
But no my friends, it was my "innocent one" that did it. When I asked him if he did "this" he said yes with such matter-of-factness I again was shocked. He told me this elaborate story that I cannot remember (he has quite the vocabulary and is quite the story-teller these days) of why he did it and when that was all said and done I told him it was wrong and explained consequences if he should do it again and he told me how sorry he was and assured me it would not happen again. I also told him he was lucky I found it and not Daddy because I handled it with calm and coolness...Daddy would not have I can assure you.
So what did this good Mommy do? She cleaned up her son's error in judgement before Daddy came home and Daddy still doesn't know about it (so you people that know Daddy don't go telling him!) Honestly I am shocked my big boy didn't tell Daddy himself because he is in that "tell on yourself" stage right now. I think some things are best kept a secret between a Mommy and his boy.
Thank goodness for glossy paint :) The guy that sold it too us said it was good for situations just like this when we were picking a paint for "the baby's room." I guess it wasn't just a sales pitch after all ;)
Monday, June 4, 2012
Rain Can Be Fun!
We have gone from "fire dangers" to "floods" in our "Little Nest on the Coast." It makes me want to break out in the song "Rain, rain, go away..." and makes me cringe a little to think about my very active oldest son being inside for such a long stretch. However, rain can be fun. I must say I actually visited my grandfather's grave recently in the pouring rain. I needed to talk to him and I actually lifted my head to the skies and let the rain just pour down on my face and I loved it. So, my oldest son also has been out enjoying it.
Tug boat fun in the "stream" we now have raging on the outskirts of our property.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Two Really Means Twice As Much Work
So I watched a couple other Mommies in blog world go from one chid to two and suddenly drop off the face of blogging when they used to be so good at blogging. I never passed judgement and I am glad I didn't because I promptly became that Mommy too! I want so badly to blog more for documenting the cute things and wonderful times I have with my children lest I forget them.
For example, the way Cole lately gives me a "special kiss" to not wipe off because it is there when I miss him and I shouldn't miss him because I should "not worry because he wont be far". And how Cole loves to hear lately how I wished for him before I had him and I was so happy when he was born. I just love these little things. Or how Miles is such his own little man but sure is a Mama's boy and boy do I love that. If he isn't stuck to me he isn't happy and that includes when Daddy is in the room. He is a "chucker" too as we say. He has a good arm and whatever goes in his hand most likely will go flying across the room. If it doesn't go far enough the first time he tries again.
There is so much more to say but man, as you other Mommies can attest, two are a lot more work! To add in working full time, breasfeeding, making my own baby food and cloth diapering, my life literally runs like clock-work on a schedule and I literally fall into bed exhausted at night with way too many things left unfinished and to add to the list for the next day (bed is where I am headed immediately after this.) I honestly can say though I wouldn't change a thing. Being a Mommy is exhausting and often thankless it seems but it is the BEST job in the world and I wouldn't change a thing. Well, except that I wish I had MORE time with my kids. But that my friends is for another post. For now, this tired Mommy is signing off and hoping to be back BEFORE another month passes :)
For example, the way Cole lately gives me a "special kiss" to not wipe off because it is there when I miss him and I shouldn't miss him because I should "not worry because he wont be far". And how Cole loves to hear lately how I wished for him before I had him and I was so happy when he was born. I just love these little things. Or how Miles is such his own little man but sure is a Mama's boy and boy do I love that. If he isn't stuck to me he isn't happy and that includes when Daddy is in the room. He is a "chucker" too as we say. He has a good arm and whatever goes in his hand most likely will go flying across the room. If it doesn't go far enough the first time he tries again.
There is so much more to say but man, as you other Mommies can attest, two are a lot more work! To add in working full time, breasfeeding, making my own baby food and cloth diapering, my life literally runs like clock-work on a schedule and I literally fall into bed exhausted at night with way too many things left unfinished and to add to the list for the next day (bed is where I am headed immediately after this.) I honestly can say though I wouldn't change a thing. Being a Mommy is exhausting and often thankless it seems but it is the BEST job in the world and I wouldn't change a thing. Well, except that I wish I had MORE time with my kids. But that my friends is for another post. For now, this tired Mommy is signing off and hoping to be back BEFORE another month passes :)
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
"Jesus Take the Wheel"
If there is one thing I struggle with the most in my faith it is letting go of control (or the control I THINK I have and therefore worry about.) My brother a while back was pretty sick with what they thought at the time was a tumor on his kidney. I prayed hard. I asked for prayers. I prayed some more. Not only for his health but for his strength and mine. A miracle happened. The day before surgery (no joke) he was told what seemed impossible. Not a tumor. No surgery. Lets watch and wait. It was a miracle. I never felt this would NOT happen. Up until the last moments I was praying hard. I had faith. I trusted in Him. God answered my prayers. This was a big step for me. "Letting Jesus take the wheel" and not worrying and KNOWING things would be okay. So, why can't I do the same for myself?
I work so hard at it but I can't completely give my life up to God. I KNOW I need to. Deep down I KNOW HE is in control and not me. BUT where I struggle is when does God have control and when does He show you signs for example and you miss them? When is He leading you and you have blinders on? When do I act and when do I sit and listen. I have so much still to learn and right now I am at a point in my life where I really need to let God take control. I need to trust in Him. I need to know He will lead me in the right direction. I need to stop putting what I want ahead of what He knows is best. How do I do that though?
Right now I am just what I know at this moment, turning to prayer. Show me the way Lord. Lead me. Guide me. Help me to see. "Jesus, take the Wheel. Take it from my hands. I can't do this on my own." I NEED to let go.
Jesus Take The Wheel lyrics
Songwriters: James, Brett; Lindsey, Hillary; Sampson, Gordie;
She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy
With the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low
On faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning
On a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
?Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat
Sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, ooh
I work so hard at it but I can't completely give my life up to God. I KNOW I need to. Deep down I KNOW HE is in control and not me. BUT where I struggle is when does God have control and when does He show you signs for example and you miss them? When is He leading you and you have blinders on? When do I act and when do I sit and listen. I have so much still to learn and right now I am at a point in my life where I really need to let God take control. I need to trust in Him. I need to know He will lead me in the right direction. I need to stop putting what I want ahead of what He knows is best. How do I do that though?
Right now I am just what I know at this moment, turning to prayer. Show me the way Lord. Lead me. Guide me. Help me to see. "Jesus, take the Wheel. Take it from my hands. I can't do this on my own." I NEED to let go.
Jesus Take The Wheel lyrics
Songwriters: James, Brett; Lindsey, Hillary; Sampson, Gordie;
She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy
With the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low
On faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning
On a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
?Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat
Sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, ooh
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Happy Easter and How Much Does the Easter Bunny Cost?
We had a fun but busy Easter. It started with the Easter Bunny being in our house filling eggs and leaving a trail from Cole's room to his Easter basket in the kitchen at 1:30 AM because he fell asleep earlier in the night and got a "late" start. Then the Easter bunny overslept his alarm and rushed around at 6 AM to get the eggs outside for the egg hunt before Cole woke up. Silly bunny, when will he learn? :)
Cole was so excited this year to see the Bunny's egg trail and then collect his eggs! Breakfast was kind of rushed because it was off to Nana and Papa's for another egg hunt and then on to church for another one! Then, back home for a quick break only to go out again for another egg hunt and gathering at MeMe and Papa's. Cole had a meltdown after the last egg hunt and I suspect it was sugar overload, sensory overload and fatigue. Papa made it all better though and we finished out a late lunch there and then home for some much needed R&R for all the boys while Momma set to putting the neglected house in order and the mountain of laundry. A Momma's work is never done!
On a side note, I have to tell this story lest I should forget years from now. Cole was looking at a stapler and scissors at the dollar store the other day that he really wanted (bless his heart) and I said maybe the Easter bunny would bring it. He promptly asked me, "How much is the bunny?" I thought, "Oh dear child, you don't have to buy the bunny!" When I hinted at this he corrected me and said, "No like how much does he weigh?" I was stumped at first and told him I had no idea but would see if I could find out. After contemplating it for a bit I think he was asking how much he weighed/how big he was because he wanted to know what the bunny may be able to carry! Too cute. He asked me this a few times after the first instance so I think this is what he was getting at. Bless his little heart :)
Happy Easter all!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Stickered!
This is what I found when I noticed it was awfully quiet in the back of the car the other day. I looked back to see Cole's hand reaching over to Miles. No sound from Miles as Cole was "coming at him" and no giggles from Cole as he "worked." When I got to our destination this is what I found...
They are going to be trouble. I can feel it and I can see it more each day. I see it in the twinkle in Miles' eyes. The smirk Miles gives when he knows he shouldn't do something. The easy going nature Miles has that allows Cole to do about anything to him. The humor Cole finds in "decorating" his brother. The creative nature of Cole. The brilliance in Cole. Yes, I can feel it and I see it. These two will be trouble...
They are going to be trouble. I can feel it and I can see it more each day. I see it in the twinkle in Miles' eyes. The smirk Miles gives when he knows he shouldn't do something. The easy going nature Miles has that allows Cole to do about anything to him. The humor Cole finds in "decorating" his brother. The creative nature of Cole. The brilliance in Cole. Yes, I can feel it and I see it. These two will be trouble...
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Outdoor Fun Turned Photo Shoot With Mommy!
The boys and I are outside a lot anyway but when the weather is particularly warm we like to take advantage of that for sure! So on a particularly warm day recently we took to the pavement and went to a large parking lot nearby and played since it was empty and explored the surrounding territory. I brought my camera along and was so glad I did because I got some amazing shots of my favorite subjects. Here are a few of those pics...
Fun was had by all but it did end rather abruptly when Miles fell over during his attempted "shoot" bumping his head on the wood wall of the kiosk I had him in. In the frenzy of me trying to pick him up and soothe him while my other guy was working something fierce to get my attention, I dropped my zoom lens! It bounced off the cement walkway and oh the sound it made. It got a few nicks in it that now give it "character." Needless to say all is well with both boys and the lens but it is amazing how quickly things can change from smiles, laughter, and fun, to tears, panic and a rush to get home in just a matter of seconds! :)
Fun was had by all but it did end rather abruptly when Miles fell over during his attempted "shoot" bumping his head on the wood wall of the kiosk I had him in. In the frenzy of me trying to pick him up and soothe him while my other guy was working something fierce to get my attention, I dropped my zoom lens! It bounced off the cement walkway and oh the sound it made. It got a few nicks in it that now give it "character." Needless to say all is well with both boys and the lens but it is amazing how quickly things can change from smiles, laughter, and fun, to tears, panic and a rush to get home in just a matter of seconds! :)
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Super Bowl
This Super Bowl the boys all dressed in their gear...
I made pizza and pigs in a blanket and the boys ate in the living room...
Dada yelled at the TV while Cole was excited just to be eating "junk" AND in the living room and Miles played around on the floor not knowing what all the fuss was about...
I loved "looking in from the outside" on all of this. This is just the beginning of what I expect will be extremely loud, junk food filled and even more fun to watch Super Bowls. It is moments like this that make me smile when I think about living in a house of all boys :)
I made pizza and pigs in a blanket and the boys ate in the living room...
Dada yelled at the TV while Cole was excited just to be eating "junk" AND in the living room and Miles played around on the floor not knowing what all the fuss was about...
I loved "looking in from the outside" on all of this. This is just the beginning of what I expect will be extremely loud, junk food filled and even more fun to watch Super Bowls. It is moments like this that make me smile when I think about living in a house of all boys :)
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Bath Time!
For Christmas I bought Miles a bath seat. I never had one for Cole but managing TWO kids in the tub is harder if you have to keep close hands on a little guy. So this tub seat has been a blessing. Cole LOVES to take baths with his little brother and Miles just ADORES Cole. Mommy loves it because she gets two kids clean in one bath!
Miles and Cole are so different in the tub. Cole hates to have his hair washed and is particular about water in his face, etc. Miles LOVES to splash and just laughs if Cole splashes him. Miles will just wipe his face and move on. Cole, he freaks out if he gets a drip in his eye. It is fun to see their different personalities.
The other day they were taking a bath and Miles held a tub toy and Cole was pouring water over it. The two of them "worked together" on this for a good several minutes. I just love watching stuff like this. I pray that these two boys get along as well as they do now when they are older. They are so different but yet get along so well right now. I just LOVE sitting back and watching the two of them. Here are some pictures of their "tub times" together :)
Miles and Cole are so different in the tub. Cole hates to have his hair washed and is particular about water in his face, etc. Miles LOVES to splash and just laughs if Cole splashes him. Miles will just wipe his face and move on. Cole, he freaks out if he gets a drip in his eye. It is fun to see their different personalities.
The other day they were taking a bath and Miles held a tub toy and Cole was pouring water over it. The two of them "worked together" on this for a good several minutes. I just love watching stuff like this. I pray that these two boys get along as well as they do now when they are older. They are so different but yet get along so well right now. I just LOVE sitting back and watching the two of them. Here are some pictures of their "tub times" together :)
Friday, March 30, 2012
Solids!
Also at 6 months Miles started solids! I know people start feeding little ones as early as 4 months now but Miles was doing so great breastfeeding I hated to let that go completely and am also proud to say he was exclusively breastfed for 6 months! I was also a little worried he would "reject the breast" once he realized food was "easier" but I am happy to say we are still breastfeeding AND eating solids at 8 months.
I am making my baby food as I did with Cole aside from carrots because I have read mixed opinions on whether you should make that yourself due to nitrates. We started with rice cereal and for his first feed he devoured it! He was so ready. He had been "chewing" while we ate and watching us intently for a while :)
I then moved to sweet potato and then quickly moved up to oatmeal because Miles had constipation issues when starting solids...Cole never did. Then, Miles got sick with a nasty cold that turned into a bad ear infection. He was not liking any new food I gave him and looking back, duh, nothing tasted good since he was sick. Now, I am happy to report we have tried (and eat) sweet potato, rice cereal, oatmeal, applesauce, squash, zucchini, avacado, peas, green beans, carrots, banana and pears. He doesn't seem to have a favorite...he loves it all! He does turn his nose up at the squashes some if they are alone so I often mix them with another veggie. I am not sure what we are trying next. Plums? Broccoli? Who knows.
I must confess too that I splurged with Miles and bought a Baby Bullet. Many say it is a luxury, just use a blender (which I did with Cole,) but I must say I LOVE it. It does a better job in my opinion at getting things smooth for the early stages (we are working into chunkier and thicker now) and it is easier clean up and store I feel. I LOVE the storage cups with the date dial too. With that said, here are some pictures of the "big event" :) Congrats on another milestone "big boy!"
I am making my baby food as I did with Cole aside from carrots because I have read mixed opinions on whether you should make that yourself due to nitrates. We started with rice cereal and for his first feed he devoured it! He was so ready. He had been "chewing" while we ate and watching us intently for a while :)
I then moved to sweet potato and then quickly moved up to oatmeal because Miles had constipation issues when starting solids...Cole never did. Then, Miles got sick with a nasty cold that turned into a bad ear infection. He was not liking any new food I gave him and looking back, duh, nothing tasted good since he was sick. Now, I am happy to report we have tried (and eat) sweet potato, rice cereal, oatmeal, applesauce, squash, zucchini, avacado, peas, green beans, carrots, banana and pears. He doesn't seem to have a favorite...he loves it all! He does turn his nose up at the squashes some if they are alone so I often mix them with another veggie. I am not sure what we are trying next. Plums? Broccoli? Who knows.
I must confess too that I splurged with Miles and bought a Baby Bullet. Many say it is a luxury, just use a blender (which I did with Cole,) but I must say I LOVE it. It does a better job in my opinion at getting things smooth for the early stages (we are working into chunkier and thicker now) and it is easier clean up and store I feel. I LOVE the storage cups with the date dial too. With that said, here are some pictures of the "big event" :) Congrats on another milestone "big boy!"
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sitting Up
I am still trying to get caught up...only about 2 months behind now :) At 6 months old Miles started sitting up. He had no desire to really, but once we put him in his Bumbo seat he really took to sitting and mastered it quickly. He is such a laid back baby but he is strong. He may not initiate anything but he can do it once you make him/show him how :) Good job big boy!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Preschool!
I had been considering this but not real seriously until I started noticing Cole really starting to engage with other kids and almost seek it out. I also had him tested for some sensory issues (he has some but nothing warranting services) and he was LOVING all the tasks they were asking him to do and he handled working with the "stranger" so well. I began feeling then that he needed preschool and I didn't want to keep that from him despite my slight hesitation to do so because of the idea of having a "stranger" "raise" my child.
I had my eye on one that I drive by every day. I asked around and did an unannounced drop-in. I asked a million questions through email with the woman that runs it and did a visit with Cole and he was so at ease with her and the place. I decided to go for it.
So, for two days a week Cole is now in preschool. My husband and I are even considering adding another day because he likes it so much and is learning so much even though it is just 2 days right now. Just the other day he told me to pick up his brother first so he could stay there longer. His teacher says he is starting to play more with the other kids and show his "fun" side. He is learning a lot too. I think it is great.
His teacher seems great so far and the school seems like a nice fit. She has 6 kids right now (3 girls and 3 boys) some are full-time and some are part-time like Cole so there are not always 6 there. He is the youngest there as most are 4 years old and one or two are 5 years old. He however fits right in. She stresses manners, hygiene, independence, education, and health and nutrition...all important things to me. Cole seems comfortable and I just got a "good feeling" about the place so I hope it continues to work well. He has been there two months now so here are some highlights (I love that she takes pictures for me so I can "see" his days there)....
I had my eye on one that I drive by every day. I asked around and did an unannounced drop-in. I asked a million questions through email with the woman that runs it and did a visit with Cole and he was so at ease with her and the place. I decided to go for it.
So, for two days a week Cole is now in preschool. My husband and I are even considering adding another day because he likes it so much and is learning so much even though it is just 2 days right now. Just the other day he told me to pick up his brother first so he could stay there longer. His teacher says he is starting to play more with the other kids and show his "fun" side. He is learning a lot too. I think it is great.
His teacher seems great so far and the school seems like a nice fit. She has 6 kids right now (3 girls and 3 boys) some are full-time and some are part-time like Cole so there are not always 6 there. He is the youngest there as most are 4 years old and one or two are 5 years old. He however fits right in. She stresses manners, hygiene, independence, education, and health and nutrition...all important things to me. Cole seems comfortable and I just got a "good feeling" about the place so I hope it continues to work well. He has been there two months now so here are some highlights (I love that she takes pictures for me so I can "see" his days there)....
Growing Up...
There are several things my biggest boy has done lately that makes me realize that he is really growing up. Things he says, the inches he literally grows in months, and changes that come such as moving to a twin bed. I knew this day was coming soon and should have come sooner but my husband was hesitant to tackle the challenge of making sure the bed would fit in his room with what is in there and rearranging it so it would. I knew he needed a bigger bed soon though so I had been prepping him about moving to a bigger bed and a friend of mine had given us a set of Thomas sheets she had that she didn't need anymore so that was exciting to my biggest boy.
Well the day came last weekend and Cole could not have been more excited. He helped Daddy take down his old bed and put the frame of the new one up (and managed to put a dig in his wall at the same time...oops!) He helped me vaccum and dust. He was ready and when he and I took a break to go grocery shopping he could hardly wait to get back (and he loves to grocery shop!)
Tony said he was surprised I wasn't more reluctant and more "emotional" about the change. I did have to take pictures before/after to document the moment but other than that I was fine. As I said, I have seen him grow so much recently I have just kind of come to terms with it. I am also so proud of him and I embrace his growth due to that. Also, with having littlest big guy around I still get to soak up some "baby" from him :)
We need to get a new mattress for him and the bed is OLD but I love it for that. It was my husband's and he tells me it was his mother's as well. I love the fact it has history and I actually love the bed (notice the cubbys above it and "shelf"?) PERFECT for a kid like Cole. My husband also pulled my quilt my mother made for me when I went to college out from storage to put on the bed so Cole is using that on his bed. Love things like that. I also embraced the height of the bed and got some underbed storage boxes...gotta love extra storage space! Cole could not have been happier and as you can see from the pics, he jumped in as soon as it was made (only after asking me 100 times if I was done yet...too cute.)
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
He Has A Tail
So I mentioned previously in a post about Miles that he has a tuft of "baby hair" that never fell/got pulled out. I like to twirl it in my hand while I am nursing Miles. Tony wants to cut it and a friend of mine noticed it not long ago and pointed it out. Needless to say, nobody seems to understand why I keep it. I just can't seem to cut it. It does look funny but I just can't cut my "baby's" hair. I never cut Cole's hair until he was a year and I plan to do the same with Miles. As I experienced with Cole, once you cut their hair it is no longer "baby soft". They never get that back. Why rush them out of "babyhood" right?
I took some pictures of it because I talk about it and think it is "cute" and "funny" now but will never be able to fully remember it or describe it later when he is older so here it is for your viewing pleasure and my memories :)
I should also point out that it starts about a quarter to half-way up the back of his head (kind of where the shine is on the middle of his head in the last photo) LOL. I love it and he doesn't seem to mind it so it is staying for now. :)
I took some pictures of it because I talk about it and think it is "cute" and "funny" now but will never be able to fully remember it or describe it later when he is older so here it is for your viewing pleasure and my memories :)
I should also point out that it starts about a quarter to half-way up the back of his head (kind of where the shine is on the middle of his head in the last photo) LOL. I love it and he doesn't seem to mind it so it is staying for now. :)
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Pancake Fun
Recently I told Cole we should try some pancake shapes. I was thinking simple such as Mickey's head and ears. Cole on the other hand, he began asking for a boat, a tractor, etc. I tried the boat, it looked more like a tug and I tried a star but it looked more like SpongeBob's friend, Patrick. LOL. Here is a picture of my "bunny head" and "apple." 
It was my first attempt so I think with a little practice I can get better :)
It was my first attempt so I think with a little practice I can get better :)
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
New Year's Eve and Day
My husband and I have never really done anything big for New Year's. If I am not pregnant I often have a glass of champagne and watch the ball drop while my husband sleeps. LOL. This New Year's Eve I woke up literally moments after the ball dropped. I remember 10 minutes before it dropped thinking, "I made it! I am going to see the ball drop!" Opps! That is what having two little guys will do to you :)
Our New Year's Day is always more exciting though. My In-Laws have always had a family gathering at their house where we often celebrate my youngest Brother-in-Law's birthday, the New Year and if a "cousin-in-law" is around, his birthday too. I never celebrated New Year's Day with my family so I really enjoy this tradition with my In-Laws. This year was much like Thanksgiving was, immediate family only but that was nice. Here are some pictures from the day and HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!
I don't usually set resolutions but my "goal" for this year is to give myself a little more "me" time. Just enough time to work on making a healthier me. It is a taller order than it sounds!
Our New Year's Day is always more exciting though. My In-Laws have always had a family gathering at their house where we often celebrate my youngest Brother-in-Law's birthday, the New Year and if a "cousin-in-law" is around, his birthday too. I never celebrated New Year's Day with my family so I really enjoy this tradition with my In-Laws. This year was much like Thanksgiving was, immediate family only but that was nice. Here are some pictures from the day and HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!
I don't usually set resolutions but my "goal" for this year is to give myself a little more "me" time. Just enough time to work on making a healthier me. It is a taller order than it sounds!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Christmas Day Part 3
Phew. After the boys got some much needed down time at home and Tony and I argued a little about whether to clean up (him) or just enjoy the day (me) we were off to our 3rd and final Christmas. All my Aunts, Uncles, cousins and their children gathered at my grandmother's house. We have done this since I was a young child and it is the one tradition we have kept through it all. I didn't take pictures because it was CRAZY there but it was a good time. Hard to believe we used to gather as cousins and now we all do so with our own husbands, wifes and children in tow. Cole was a little overwhelmed and tired too I am sure and Miles was his usual laid back self who took a nap amid the chaos...lol.
A good time was had by all but it sure was a tiring day for us all. I can't help but feel like some of the enjoyment of Christmas and the meaning is lost in all this rushing around so I THINK this is the last year we will do this whole three part Christmas day thing. The boys will (and lets face it we will too) benefit from a more laid back day I think. So I think next year we will switch it up a bit. That is a year away though so no need to worry about that now! :)
A good time was had by all but it sure was a tiring day for us all. I can't help but feel like some of the enjoyment of Christmas and the meaning is lost in all this rushing around so I THINK this is the last year we will do this whole three part Christmas day thing. The boys will (and lets face it we will too) benefit from a more laid back day I think. So I think next year we will switch it up a bit. That is a year away though so no need to worry about that now! :)
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