Struggling Again

In my last post update about Handsome 2 and his GI stuff I hesitated.  I know it isn't true but doesn't it sure feel like it?  You know when you say something is great, going well, awesome, better than you expected, etc. and then almost immediately things inevitably seem to go wrong?  Yeah I hesitated but then I said, I have faith, I need to be strong in my faith.  Not silly and think I am "jinxing" it.  And then it happened.

Handsome 2 is struggling again to go the bathroom.  This handsome boy (in his new much loved bathrobe for after shower time...he loves being naked, he gets to be naked under it and it is warm and snuggly...he loves to be warm and snuggly after a shower)

he is fighting it again (withholding they call it) and I don't know why.  He as I mentioned previously was doing so well.   Sigh.  It is so frustrating. 

 

He is back to holding it, crying, screaming, you need to forcibly hold him down.  Just the other day he started to go in his underwear he had held it for so long he just couldn't anymore (and we make him sit on the potty every night still.) 

 

 I am starting to do the guessing game.  Does it hurt?  Is something structurally wrong in some way?  Is it not a gluten allergy?  Did we slack too much on making him sit for 30 minutes every night at the same time since stuff was going so well?  Did we slack too much on his diet in terms of making sure he got his fruit every night to help him go?  Was it this? Was it that?  What changed?  My heart aches to be going through this again.  I thought we were getting better.  Will we regress even more?  So many questions.  So many concerns.  Not many answers.  A lot of most likely, wait and  see. 

 

Then came the why?  We have a lot going on in our lives right now.  Why now?  Why again?  Why him?  Why more issues.   I am dealing with issues with Handsome 1 again and now Handsome 2 again.  I have two kids with two "major" (not as major as many I know but not just a cut or a bruise that is temporary either) issues.  Why?  What does this mean for #3? 

 

But then I remember, I am blessed.  Without great struggle does not come great gain.  Without the rain there is no rainbows.  If we didn't have these moments we couldn't appreciate what we do have.  I always have said (and still do) that my struggle to conceive was a blessing in disguise.  I have 2 amazing children (and 1 more on the way!) and if I didn't struggle to have them, I wouldn't appreciate them (and all that comes with having them) as much as I do.  But yes, the struggle still sucks.  No way around that.

 

But then I also remember how blessed I am. We have a lot that many don't and I am thankful for that too.  I always go back to this, if God said to me, "This is what your life will be, do you want this and all the good that comes with it or do you not want this?" I would take it in a heartbeat.  I love my kids and all that we have in our lives right now that I wouldn't ultimately change a thing if it meant I couldn't have it at all.  Again, you need rain for rainbows. You need struggle for appreciation.  Nobody is perfect.  I am not, my kids are not, life is not.  And this is life.  This is real.  I just need to remember to enjoy the ride.



Gluten Free Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins

These are delicious!  I made them for my boys and gave my parents a sample too.  Everyone loved them.  As I have mentioned before my husband is hard to please when it comes to food but he loved them.  My father isn't so sure that he is a fan of this whole "gluten free food" thing but he also thought they were delicious so a hit all around.  Handsome 2 wasn't sure how he felt about the cream cheese center so I made a second batch without as well.  These are so moist and had a great flavor and texture.  Best of all, they are made entirely from scratch...even the flour combo is a recipe I got from a GF baking class I took.  Go me! (Always proud when in this word of fast and easy I do something completely from scratch.)

Just for Fun

So last time I hit 20 weeks I did a little comparison of photos so I will do the same this time...just for fun :)

So here are the boys each time at their anatomy scans...don't they look like brothers? :)

 

Can I just add that seeing these three pics side by side makes it more real for me...I am going to have three boys in this house soon! So exciting!

 

And here I am at 20 weeks with all three boys...I think I look about the same in all of them!

20 Weeks= Half Baked!

 

How far along are you:  20 weeks!
How big is baby: Baby weighs about 10.2 ounces and measures about 6.5 inches. He's still got a lot of growing to do though. Can you believe you're halfway done?
Weight gain/loss: Weight gain.  Ugh.  I have started gaining so the OB was happy at my last appointment (at 18 weeks 3 days).  I have gained back 3 of the 7 lbs. I lost.  I guess it had to happen at some point but I want to try to keep the gaining in check.
Food cravings: Fish! It is so weird.  I would eat fish every night if it were allowed!  I have it once a week though as recommended by the OB due to mercury...even though I eat the low mercury kind.
Symptoms: Still tired! I find myself doing a task then needing to lay down to re energize then do a task, repeat.  I also often take a nap about mid day if I can on the weekends and if not, I often crash at like 7:30 PM sometimes!  I also still have little room for food in my belly but my appetite is back.  Hard to explain, I want to eat, I just don't feel like I have any room to fit it.
Stretch marks: None other than the ones acquired with the first two pregnancies and would love it it if stayed that way :)  The belly is expanding though so I am sure it is coming soon :(
Maternity clothes: Oh yes!  All non maternity stuff is gone!
Sleep: A little better.
Best moment this week: Finding out last week we are having a boy and feeling like I can start to plan for baby and knowing that as of that ultrasound, everything looks great.  Praying it stays that way.
Sex: Another boy! 
Movement: Oh yes!  If I am still he is moving...love it!  His movements are stronger now and I am starting to feel them throughout the day more.
Belly button: In but getting stretched!
Labor signs: No thank goodness!
What do you miss: A good night's sleep and feeling like I can get something done without feeling completely exhausted after or completely unmotivated to do it!
What are you looking forward to this week: Enjoying the fact we made it halfway so far and looking forward to more baby movement!
Something interesting about this week:  It is mid March (first few days of Spring) and we STILL have colder than average temps and had a snow shower today that thankfully didn't amount to much. It has been a cold, harsh, long Winter and I am ready for Spring!
This week's confession:  I had a moment of sadness for the "girl that will never be" since I am pretty sure this is our last baby but then quickly embraced the fact that I will be a "boy Mom" and loving it! One more confession, I am wearing my new nursing bra in these pics.  Not that I want to draw anymore attention to my chest by saying this but I must say I needed it.  I need support for my size chest and after nursing two babies...flat and droopy for sure!  I used my other nursing bras through two pregnancies and nursings (the last of which was 18 months of nursing plus say around 7 months of pregnancy) so they were less than supportive and well "loved" for sure.  It was like a special treat to get a few new bras...lol. 

It's a....

...girl and a boy!

Well before I confuse you completely and you think I am having twins (which I am not despite my mother-in-law praying hard for that) I will explain.

As I mentioned my sister is pregnant with her first and is due just a week before me.  She found out a couple of weeks ago that she is having a girl!  Yay!  I am so excited to have a niece and the baby looks great and my sister is feeling great so that is all wonderful news.

Well on March 19th when little one was 19 weeks and 3 days (but apparently measuring 21 weeks and 3 days!) we found out we are having another boy!

The tech was awesome, which was great.  She started the ultrasound and said, "So are you going to find out what you are having?"  I said, "Yes because Hubby couldn't wait" and she said, "You have two boys already?"  I said, "Yes" and she immediately went to a shot and said, "Well you are having another!" She said he was eager to show us he was a boy so she figured she might as well let us know. 

The rest of the ultrasound Hubby spent texting people (and watching the scan of course).  He was so excited to have another boy (was scared to have a girl!) and couldn't wait to share the news with everyone.  I on the other hand was a little sad I admit.  I suspect this will be our last and the idea of not being a mother of the bride and not having a daughter to have children of her own, etc. made me a little sad.  Honestly though, I was also scared to have a girl (I already know boys!) and I do LOVE my boys.  There is something special about Mommies and their boys and something special about knowing I am going to raise three young men to "put out into the world" someday.  That is such an honor.  And, whenever I pictured my life for some reason, I always pictured myself with 3 boys.  I picture the craziness of my home 10 years from now and the huge grocery bill but when I picture my house just full of crazy boy stuff, I smile. So yes, while I may have mourned the loss of the daughter that will never be I also smiled a great big smile at what will be.  I am blessed.  I am thankful.  I am a boy Mom and I am proud to say that.  (I will just borrow my niece any time I need a girly fix.)

So without further delay, here are some pictures of that amazing little guy.  She almost forgot to do the DVD...I thankfully reminded her after only a few minutes into the ultrasound so we didn't miss too much.  She even was kind enough to check to make sure the DVD worked since I told her what happened with the last one. 

He sure was a stinker.  He didn't cooperate for the NT scans as you may remember and we almost couldn't get the pics of the heart she needed and as she called him a stinker he finally gave her the profile shot she wanted to get for us. She said he sure liked to show us his spine and she knows it is a great spine but we would like to see something else :)  We learned he likes to lay on his tummy and although he obviously didn't know we were looking at him he seemed to wave a few times at us and peek at the camera...we actually saw him yawn and saw the lens of his eye...never seen that on my two other boys!

This little guy is measuring big!  Handsome 1 always measured about a week ahead and Handsome 2's head always measured big but this little guy takes the cake with measuring 2 weeks ahead and is weighing in at 13 ounces (the average is about 10 ounces)!  However, the tech said that since my last period and all the other ultrasounds I have had (other than the dating one) put me at 20 weeks 3 days versus 19 weeks 3 days (as my first dating ultrasound did) they will go by that.  If I should need to go to them again for any reason (hopefully not!) they will go with my due date as being August 3rd and not the 10th as my dating ultrasound put me.  I will see what my OB says.  I do not really care as long as they don't try to induce me thinking I am well overdue or think he is early...depending on when they end up making my due date.  Either way I know he will come when he is ready...hopefully it is not until August though!

16 weeks!

How far along are you:  16 weeks!
How big is baby: Baby's the size of an avocado! Now, he/she's about 4.6 inches long and weighs about 3.5 ounces, and he/she's big enough that your doctor may be able to hear her heartbeat.
Weight gain/loss: Weight loss.  Just like with the boys, I am losing weight instead of gaining.  Okay with me!   I am currently down 7 lbs.  The OB isn't happy.  She wants me to start gaining by my next appointment.
Food cravings: Surprisingly, healthy stuff.  Fruits, salads, etc.  Weird.  I do also occasionally crave my more typical salty and sweet (a donut is bought every now and then and Ramon beef noodles are in my cupboard...it was Campbell's chicken noodle when I had the boys...lol.)
Symptoms: Still tired! I find myself doing a task then needing to lay down to reenergize then do a task, repeat.  The nausea is gone.  Yay!  Also have very little appetite.  Not feeling sick, just not feeling hungry and nothing really appeals to me other than the cravings I mentioned and even then I may not feel like eating.  I seem to want to drink.  Not because I am so thirsty but because that seems to appeal to me for whatever reason.  Water is a favorite.  Again weird I know.
Stretch marks: None other than the ones acquired with the first two pregnancies :)
Maternity clothes: Oh yes!  Non maternity tops are getting weeded out of my selection too.
Sleep: A little better!
Best moment this week: Getting my second part of my bloodwork done for the genetic testing.  Felt good to put that behind me.
Sex: Can't tell yet!
Movement: Starting to feel flutters.  Mainly when I lay down for bed at night.
Belly button: In!
Labor signs: No thank goodness!
What do you miss: A good night's sleep and feeling like I can get something done without feeling completely exhausted after.
What are you looking forward to this week: Finding out the test results from the bloodwork in a little over a week and feeling baby move more!
Something interesting about this week: I still haven't told many besides family I am pregnant.  Finally told my close friends. 
This week's confession:  Life continues to be crazy busy and I continue to forget I am pregnant!

NT Scan Take Two!

We did the NT Scan with both boys.  No problem.  All went well and babies cooperated.  Not this time around! 

Hubby came with me and we brought the boys just as we did when we went to both NT scans (Hubby the first time obviously...Cole was in my belly for that one!) and surprised Handsome 1 by taking him the second time.  They boys did well and were so excited but Little One had different plans. 

He/she kept his/her head tucked the whole time.  If he/she moved it at all, as soon as the tech tried to get a measurement he/she tucked the chin immediately.  The tech was not the most patient either.  As soon as she noticed Little One would not cooperate she became negative and basically gave up.  It kind of sucked.  Hubby was irritated too but I was happy to see Little One and share with the boys about the baby.  As I mentioned previously, Handsome 1 said he was so excited and wanted a baby so bad.  He said he had been wishing for a baby.  LOL. Handsome 2 saw Handsome 1's excitement and got excited too and announced, "Yay!  A baby frog!"  Hmm....  The tech did let the boys hear the heartbeat and Cole thought that was so awesome.

So this meant rescheduling my appointment.  Ironically, my appointment was scheduled for the "new date" but we moved it up a week because I would be 13 weeks and 2 days and we were worried baby may not cooperate and we couldn't reschedule. Must have had a premonition!

So I took the boys alone to NT attempt number 2.  They really did well and the tech was awesome with them.  Unfortunately, Little One grew a whole week's worth of growth plus a few days in that short time!  He/she now measured too big for the test ad was measuring at like 14 weeks 4 days AND he/she was in perfect position of course.  Oh Lord...we have another stubborn one!  I thought I had that in Handsome 2 already! 

Thankfully the tech was great and showed the boys the different parts of baby (hand, head, belly, heart, etc.) and took lots of pictures and put a video on DVD for Handsome 1.  He was so excited.  Sadly, the DVD (which he put in as soon as we got home) did not work...I am guessing she didn't finalize it.  Figures.

I still got my blood drawn.  They will combine that with bloodwork at 16 weeks and give me a less accurate measure but still be able to from that determine "pass/fail" in terms of a lot of severe genetic issues.  Handsome 1 was so nervous for the blood draw and kept asking if I would cry.  LOL.  He stood out of site the whole time...Handsome 2 on the other hand...right in the thick of it.  Amazing how different they are.  Excited to see how this Little One is in the mix!

So here are some pics from NT attempt number 2....

My favorites are the very first and  the very last photo...in the first one the tech said Little One was sticking his/her tongue out and if you look closely you can see that and in the last photo I just think it is a great profile shot.  In the 3rd and 8th photo you can see the Little One's hand curled near his/her mouth.  We saw some great shots of the hand open there but noticed when I got home the tech didn't give me those ones...bummer.

Growing a Baby AND Growing a Home

Part of our long term plans for the home has been to replace all the doors and windows.  All are original to the home.  We started with our worst door and replaced that weeks after Handsome 1 came home from the hospital with us.  This past weekend we completed the rest.  It feels good to have that done.  It has been a long process (over 5 years) but it is complete.  The biggest change was in our living room. 

We changed out this window:

For this window:

I love it! 

 Hubby isn't fond of the new window style but I think it looks awesome both from the inside and out.  We can now open them all and I think they just look more modern.  This new one isn't as tall as our last so it does take some getting used to (for example, you can no longer see the road out the window when sitting in the living room...not such a bad thing to only see trees instead of a road but when you are used to seeing cars pull in or guy buy it is odd) but the positive is now it is the same height as all the other windows in the house.  Regardless, I am pleased.  Hubby is just glad I am happy :)

Just a quick update...

Had my monthly OB appointment today.  I am 18 weeks and 3 days.  Blood pressure was excellent, urine was clear of any "bad stuff" and heartbeat was strong in the mid 140s the OB said.  It did sound nice and clear and strong and she found it right away.  Music to a Mama's ears.

I have gained the weight back I lost. OB was happy.  Me not so much They couldn't find my test results from my blood draw for the second part of the Integrated Screen so that was a little nerve-wrecking as I have had mix ups in the past (with Handsome 1 they messed up our CF testing).  However they tracked it down and the results showed that I was "screen negative" as they call it and the OB said my numbers were around 1:2,500 for neural tube defects and 1:10,000 for Trisomy 18 and Down Syndrome.  I asked her how accurate it is without the NT measurement and she said still very accurate so that was reassuring.  She said the NT measurement was 1.8 and the cut off is 2 so I was good.  However I don't know how they got that measurement since they said they couldn't get it since at first Little One didn't cooperate and then was too big to measure.   The OB also said that the results came differently than they usually do so I am not sure what that all means. I asked her to confirm the date on the order to be sure that they weren't look at an old one from a previous child!  All their stuff is on computer now and sometimes I think things are worse than better this way!

So overall a good appointment.  You could hear little one kicking and moving as the OB checked the heartbeat.  He/she also gave me a little kick before I went into my appointment just as if to say, I am okay Momma, I am right here...lets do this!  :)

And just as a point of reference, today I wasn't sure I would get to have my appointment.  Although the weather is supposed to be turning warmer being mid March, we have had a harsh cold Winter with storm after storm and Winter doesn't seem to want to let us go.  We are expecting a major storm today but thankfully just rain right now on "Our Little Nest on the Coast" so I got my appointment in.  I usually don't mind Winter but this year, I am done with it.  Bring on Spring!

12 Weeks

How far along are you:  12 weeks!
How big is baby: Our baby's the size of a plum! The average fetus at 12 weeks is about 2.1 inches long and .49 ounces. Now that he/she's got pretty much all his/her parts, his/her main job is to keep on growing.
Weight gain/loss: Weight loss.  Just like with the boys, I am losing weight instead of gaining.  Okay with me!   I am currently down 4 lbs.
Food cravings: Surprisingly, healthy stuff.  Fruits, salads, etc.  Weird.
Symptoms: Still tired! Mild nausea and difficulty sleeping.  The nausea mainly happens now when I don't eat for a stretch so I try to snack frequently.
Stretch marks: None other than the ones acquired with the first two pregnancies :)
Maternity clothes: Busted them out this week after my NT scan!  My tops still fit good but I am finding myself needing to unbutton my pants at the end of the day...not comfy!
Sleep: Horrible still.
Best moment this week: Taking the boys with Hubby to see the baby for the first time.  We told them there was an appointment and a surprise.  We showed them the baby and Handsome 1 was so excited and wanted to know all about what he was looking at.  He loved hearing the heartbeat. Handsome 2 got excited because Handsome 1 was and shouted out, "Yay!  A baby frog!"  Ha ha ha. (More on the NT scan in another post).
Sex: Can't tell yet!
Movement: Not yet.
Belly button: In!
Labor signs: No thank goodness!
What do you miss: A good night's sleep and feeling like I can get something done without feeling completely exhausted after.
What are you looking forward to this week: Sharing the news with my family and close friends.
Something interesting about this week: I had no problem with both boys with the NT scan...this little one refused to move into correct position so I will be returning early next week to try again.
This week's confession: I still am having a hard time believing I am pregnant and sometimes even forget I am!  We are just so busy with life and I feel so good overall that I forget about this miracle.  I am thankful for distractions from worry though and feeling so good!

Unexpected Surprise

So I mentioned that I planned to tell everyone I was pregnant until I surpassed the 12 week mark just as I did with my other two pregnancies. Plans changed though when we celebrated Christmas about mid-January with my sister and brother-in-law. 

I noticed when we arrived at my parents' that she was in "comfy" clothes and thought it strange as she usually is quite fashionable but that is about as far as it went.  I also noticed she looked like she had "put on a little weight" but who doesn't around the holidays right?  And she had been traveling to TX with her husband for Christmas so I figured maybe she hadn't gotten a chance to work out as much.  Again, not being judgmental, just things I noticed since I had last seen her and more like "light bulbs" going off in my head.  Like little signs I was noticing that made me "wonder" but weren't glaring enough to make the assumption.

Nothing different other than that though until we got to "one last present" for my brother and I from them.  I opened up a bib that said, "My Auntie is the Best" and my first thought was because I was pregnant  but duh...nobody knew! It was just my first thought though since I was pregnant and my sister is always talking about how "she is the best Auntie" (and also the ONLY Auntie...lol) so it took a second to sink it.  My brother got a book about being a good Uncle so he immediately got it and said, "Congrats!" and that is when it sunk in.  I was so excited.  We exchanged congrats, etc. and then I asked, "So when are you due?" 

August 4th.

My jaw dropped and I was silent.  I looked immediately at Tony and he gave me the look of you said you weren't going to say anything...lol.  I couldn't help it, I blurted out, "Guess who is due August 10th!" 

I hated to steal their thunder and told them a million times I didn't want to do that but I couldn't help it.  We are due 6 days apart!  With both boys I went 6 days early!  My sister was thrilled and seemed to not worry at all about me stealing her thunder but I did wait to tell everyone else until 12 weeks.  This gave my sister time to tell family and friends without announcing too. 

I am glad she is due before me too.  This is their first.  My third.  I don't want to steal their exciting time from them.  We also found out last week that she is expecting a girl!  I am so excited to be an Aunt and so exited she is the first to bring a girl into the family...hopefully that makes it a little special for her since I have two boys (we don't know yet what this little one is). 

She is feeling great and she looks great and I am so excited to be an Auntie and to have a niece!

So, I told earlier than I expected  (January 18th...10 weeks and 6 days) but it was great.  I enjoyed sharing that moment with her and am so happy to have "cousins" so close together.  I was so sure I would be done and my kids would be grown before I got a cousin for my kids and a niece or nephew for me :)

I am over the moon excited to be an Auntie and to be having a niece and so excited to be sharing this "journey" with my sister as she has her first baby and I have what will most likely be my last.  As this chapter just begins for her, mine will be closing...bittersweet.

8 weeks

 

How far along are you:  8 weeks, 3 days
How big is baby: Baby is the size of a raspberry!  Now he/she weighs in (yay!) at about .04 ounces and measures about .63 inches.  This week, he/she's growing about a millimeter each day.

Weight gain/loss: Nope!

Food cravings: None really.

Symptoms: Tired!  Mild nausea and difficulty sleeping.
Stretch Marks:  None other than the ones acquired with the first two pregnancies :)

Maternity clothes: Not yet.
Sleep: Horrible.
Best moment this week: Having my first appointment with the nurse practitioner to confirm the pregnancy and getting to see the little one!
Sex: Can't tell yet!
Movement: Not yet.
Belly button: In!

Labor signs:  No thank goodness!
What do you miss:  A good night's sleep.
What are you looking forward to this week:  Just enjoying the fact I have a little one growing in me.
Something interesting about this week: I have very few symptoms...I feel totally different this pregnancy than with the two boys.
This week's confession:  I still am having a hard time believing I am pregnant and sometimes even forget I am!

I had this ultrasound because I had little to no symptoms so they did an ultrasound to make sure it was a viable pregnancy...hang in there baby!  I found out that I was a week earlier than I thought I was. According to my ultrasound I am 7 weeks, 3 days.  The downside to not tracking, etc. you don't know exactly how far along you are! 

 

1+1=2, 2+1=3, 3+1=4 and...

...4+1=5!

 

We are expecting baby #3 August 10, 2014 and couldn't be happier about it!  When we told Handsome 1 he was so excited and said he had been hoping so bad for a new brother or sister and when we told Handsome 2 he said, "A baby frog!"  Hmm...

 

Yes, it was planned.  We have been trying for baby #3.  It is amazing the people that wonder if it was planned or the people that seem surprised when we tell them this.  Apparently it is odd to many people that a couple would actually try to have more than two kids.  Some mention that perhaps we are trying for a girl (not the case).  Others mention that they don't know how people afford more than two kids.  Like I would have another if I couldn't afford it.  I simply say to these comments, "I will just be happy if it is healthy." and this is the honest truth.  I also say, "It is all in your priorities."  Hubby and I live simply.  We work hard for our family.  To have this family.  Some take vacations, buy nice things, etc.  That is fine.  We put our money in growing a family.  That is what makes us happy.  We wanted baby #3 and we are so happy to be expecting him/her.

 

With my boys I have had to take meds, do acupuncture, chart, temp, etc.  Hubby and I talked about it and decided we would try for another but we would "see what happens" knowing full well it may not happen if we went this "more natural approach".  As I mentioned in a previous post, I had come to a good place.  I wanted another baby but was okay to be patient and was content with my two amazing boys.  Knowing this could be a long road due to my Endometriosis and PCOS and given our age, we decided to start trying.  We were at a point that Handsome 2 had reached the age at which we got pregnant with Handsome 1 and it all worked wonderful in terms of their ages so we thought it was a good time to start trying.  Little did we know that within just a few months of trying and no medications, temping, charting, etc. we would get pregnant!  God is so good!

 

I took a test the day after my period was expected.  Recently it was never late and ironically people say they "have symptoms" well I usually have those "symptoms" as PMS symptoms and didn't this cycle, which I thought was strange so that sent a question mark in my head as well.  So on my lunch break from work I took a test and for whatever reason it did not read.  I took another.  No reading again!  I tried to squeeze a little more "fluid" from me (LOL) and attempted a third time...at this point the suspense was killing me!  Nope.  Not enough to test at that point.  So now I was down 3 "error" pregnancy tests.  After I got home from work I tried one more time and got a negative.  Or so I thought...

 

I thought to myself that is probably a good thing because I haven't been the best about taking my vitamins, I could continue to work on my health (weight, exercise, etc.) and honestly I wasn't that sad.  As I said, I was in a good place this time.  I was content with waiting for God's perfect timing.  For whatever reason I went back to check the test after just a couple minutes and saw a faint line. 

 

What!?

 

I must have checked and rechecked the test several times.  I paced the floor (LOL).  I honestly was so shocked.  We weren't doing all the things I had to do for Handsome 1 and Handsome 2 and since I knew enough about my body from charting, etc. previously, I thought for sure our "timing" was off.  Apparently not!

 

I waited to tell Tony until the next day when I pulled out a digital I had stashed away and took that in the A.M.  No denying it from that test.  I was pregnant!   I debated if I should tell Tony.  We had just begun the work to do a major renovation of our house (more on that later) and he was already stressed.  I thought I would wait and tell him once I confirmed it at the OB's.  I actually didn't even call the OB right away to make an appointment like the other two.   I think when I did finally call they said, "Congrats" and I kind of less than enthusiastically said, "Oh thanks".  LOL.  I still was in such shock at that point! 

 

I couldn't not tell Tony.  It felt wrong.  So I told him and he sure was shocked too.  He said the timing was not right, etc.  I told him I was as shocked as he was and as much as I wanted it to happen this way (a surprise, not calculated, 100% planned, etc. like with the other two...I KNEW I was pregnant with them before a test could tell me so!) I realized the scariness that comes with the "surprise!"  LOL. 

 

God's timing is always right though and it is perfect timing.   Although life is crazy now, the baby is a welcome happy distraction and the craziness in our life keeps me from worrying so much about this pregnancy as I did with the other two (not that I don't worry!) and the timing of the baby's intended birth is perfect too in so many ways (more on that later as well) even though I initially thought it was too close to Handsome 2's birthday and poor timing for work.  God knows what He is doing :)

 

We decided once again (more my decision than Hubby's) to wait until 12 weeks again to tell anyone.  However that all changed as well when we celebrated Christmas (in January) with my sister and her husband.  Stay tuned...  

6 months of Gluten Free = GI check up

So Handsome 2 has been GF for 6 months now.  Completely gluten free.  No cheats.  We started on the journey before that time but after our last appointment 6 months ago, when we were sure that was the direction we were heading in, we cut gluten for good.

Yesterday, Handsome 2 had his 6 month check up.  We were barely in there at all before we were headed out the door to go home.  It was such a whirlwind.  I worked all day, picked up both boys and headed straight to his specialist appointment one hour away from where we live.  We got there just in time to check in before we were being taken down the hall.  Handsome 2 had to use the restroom so we did that and then the GI doc was talking to us.  I felt like it was such a blur.  Handsome 2 was so full of life...busy, talkative, full of mischief.  The Doc was so good.  Didn't seem phased and talked with me despite the chaos.  The chaos with two rambunctious boys just made it all a blur though.  I felt like we just got there and we were headed home. 

In retrospect on the drive home I thought how great is this?   I brought Handsome 2 to the specialist when we were watching our little boy slip away.  He was losing weight.  Hadn't gained height or weight for 7 months and he was having constant loose stools that had turned to watery ones.  And until he started to "heal" we hadn't realized how much of his personality he had lost.  That is what was so great about yesterday.

Yesterday I realized my little boy had life back in him.  He was busy, full of life, mischievous.  He was feeling good.  He was happy.  He was himself again. 

The specialist was pleased he was gaining height and weight now. His weight gain was enough to bump him into the 50th percentile!  He is 30 lbs. and 35 inches.  Still only around 25th percentile for height but he is healthy.  Thank God.

We discussed testing in the future.  In particular genetic testing.  We want to know if he has the gene for Celiac Disease for sure.  As you all may remember I opted out of endoscopy and although he had blood work that was negative for the disease he was too young at the time (usually most accurate at age 5+) to be sure. I knew he needed to have gluten in his system to have the blood work done again at that age and I was not willing to make the decision to make him sick again (most likely what would happen) just to test him.  I also did not want to do endoscopy until he was older.  What I did not realize is that endoscopy wont be accurate either now unless we introduce gluten.  The Doc said the hope would be that with a GF diet he would look great.  So that is something I would not want to do either.  I told the Doc I would prefer to wait until he was older so he could decide for himself if he wanted those answers.

I did not realize there was a third option...genetic testing.  Apparently he does not have to have gluten in his system for that and if he doesn't have two specific markers in his system, he cannot have Celiac Disease.  We will do this testing in a year.  Why a year?  Because in a little over a year he will start Pre-K (eek!) and as the Doc said, that is when we start being unable to fully control their environment and their possible unknowing exposures (I already worry about this!) and if he has Celiac Disease versus an intolerance to gluten, it will be a far more serious thing.

I pray he has a gluten intolerance versus Celiac Disease but for now, it doesn't matter.  For now we know he can't have gluten and I will do my best to be sure he doesn't.  And that includes ripping a cracker from his hand as an unknowing coworker hands him one to eat for a snack while shouting, "No!  He can't eat that!"  LOL.  The look on his and the co worker's face was priceless.

I also talked to the Doc about the fact that although Handsome 2 is potty trained he still requires the strict schedule to have a bowel movement.  He had developed such a fear through all of this that it was a huge fight to get him to go.  With the naturopath's help we set up a strict routine of sitting him on the potty at the same time for the same amount of time each night.  With this he started going finally with more ease.  It isn't 100% ease but much better and he goes.  The Doc was most happy that he was able to potty train still and said that the schedule helps him have some control and realize the expectations so he was okay with that.  Especially since he goes more regularly and with more consistency. 

I also talked about the fact that his system is so sensitive still.  The consistency of his stools fluctuates and the Doc feels it could be a small change in diet or his system regulating after a change in stool (as I suspected).  Although it isn't perfect, he said he feels there is also a good chance he will normalize more as he grows and becomes even more comfortable with going. 

So, overall, a good appointment.  I love the Doc.  He is great with Handsome 2.  He listens to my concerns. I don't feel rushed and I think he follows my lead (no invasive testing, naturopath, etc.) as much as he offers his own opinions.  I also love that Miles has made enough gains that we don't have a planned follow-up at this point other than genetic testing in about a year.

Gluten free is not easy and yes, I sure wish it didn't have to be this way.  However, gluten free has given me my little boy back  and for that I am forever grateful. 

Oh the places we find you asleep....

So I mentioned in a recent post that Handsome 2 falls asleep in the funniest places.  I mentioned how we have found him halfway in our room and half in the hall, half in the hall and half in his room, on the floor against his closed bedroom door, in the  chair in his room, etc.  I finally started taking some pics of where he fell asleep because I didn't want to forget these moments.  Handsome 1 rarely fell asleep unless the conditions were perfect.  Not handsome 2.  He falls asleep when he is tired no matter where!  My Mom even found him asleep on the porch in a patch of sun under an eve so water was dripping on him! 

Here are a few pics of moments I have captured...

L to R: Asleep in his brother's chair in his room, asleep in bed with Dada...he crawled in there without Dada knowing and before I had headed to bed, asleep on the potty, and asleep half in his bed, half hanging out.