Thankful on Thursday...

Words cannot describe how much I am thankful on this Thursday. Wednesday night my brother got a call from the nurse of the surgeon. He was told that the surgeon had finally received all reports on my brother and they were sure after analyzing everything that he had a cyst and it did not require surgery nor would he need surgery in the future. Praise God! We went from 60 to 70 percent chance of cancer and definite surgery to this! God is good and prayer is powerful. My world went from the post I wrote on Wednesday (see below) to a complete turn around (Cole rallied that night too.) I could not praise God more that night and am so thankful I turned it all over to Him and professed my belief in His plan.

We went out that night to celebrate as a family. I got to meet my sister's boyfriend and today, Cole got to see my sister and meet her boyfriend. My Mom was able to watch Cole since Trent was no longer in danger of catching anything and Cole went to the doctor again today since he is still sick but the MD feels the fever should resolve soon and although he may break out in a rash soon, he feels he is nearing the end of this. He did not see signs of dehydration. Cole has moments of "somewhat normal" and moments of not so well still but again, I am thankful that at the moment, this is all it is. Back to my brother though.

So many of you were praying for him and us and I cannot reiterate that we felt those prayers through the strength we all were feeling through all of this. It really felt greater than us. Furthermore, the wonderful news we received came right around when a healing service was going on at my church. Coincidence? I think not. All of your prayers and the prayers of all of our family and friends were heard. I remember a few weeks back saying I was going to pray for what I want (healing for my brother without the need for surgery) knowing that although it seemed unlikely given what we were told, I knew God could heal the sick but also praying that I would leave it in God's hands knowing that He knows best and I would settle for a skilled surgeon and speedy recovery. God heard my prayers and all of yours and He delivered!

I don't know why this happened to my brother but what I can say is I came out of this feeling a stronger faith, a stronger connection to God, a better understanding of just how powerful prayer can be and a great appreciation for the miracles God can make happen. I wrote a while back about how I struggle with letting go of control and putting it all in God's hands. I did just this on Wednesday (see my post) and look what happened!

I have rambled enough and probably only half of this makes sense as my mind is racing faster than I can type. Words cannot express the revelation that has taken place within me. All I can say is, thanks be to God. He is good. Prayer is powerful and lastly, Amen!

No Wordless Wednesday

Today there will not be a wordless Wednesday. I just have too much to share. Cole spiked a fever Monday night I suspect and wok up feeling on fire Tuesday morning. His fever was at lowest 99.7 and highest it was 102 and all of this was with round the clock Tylenol. I stayed home with my little guy Tuesday and we laid around, watched "Finding Nemo" and made a trip to the MD. The MD is baffled as to what it is since he at this point, shows no other symptoms. He had some breathing difficulty but lungs are clear so the MD suspects it is the fever. Poor little guy. Daddy got home from work and was successful in getting the little guy to eat and drink something. As you know, my little man LOVES to eat so if he doesn't want to, he isn't well. The little guy also slept most of the day away, which is also not like my little active man. Poor guy looked so pathetic...all glassy-eyed and with a blank stare and such red cheeks. Plus, he was so hot to the touch. Hopefully a day off yesterday and a good night's rest will prove wonders for this little boy. I have to call the MD today to give him an update on Cole. As of just a few moments ago, he was still sleeping.

With that said, since Cole is sick we are scrambling for caregivers because my Mom can't watch him to be sure she doesn't catch it since my brother goes into surgery Friday. My mother-in-law is already on babysitting duty for Friday while I am out of town on a conference and my family is with my brother for surgery. My sister is home and I haven't seen her yet and she hasn't seen Cole because she is staying with my family and again, we can't run the risk of getting Trent sick. Cole was supposed to have all this week with my sister and I was supposed to have had some time with her and have met her boyfriend. Alas, God had other plans I guess.

A million things ran through my head yesterday as I made sure Tony could take today off, called work to get a day off yesterday and headed to the MD with Cole. I thought, be careful what you wish for. Monday I stopped off at my house for lunch and silently wished I could just have a day at home and not because I was sick. Well, I got it, and a sick boy to go with it! Then I had a little pity moment as I thought about the hitch in caregivers, the lose of precious earned time, the fact I wont see my sister and Cole wont see his aunt as much as hoped. The fact that I wont see my brother as much as I had hoped before his surgery, etc. Then I thought of the positive. My sister is getting some quality time with my parents and brother without my little guy in the middle of it all. I am lucky to have family and a husband to rally when we need help with caregivers so it isn't a complete disaster. I am lucky that I will be heading down Sat. to see my brother after his surgery. I am lucky that as of right now, a fever is all Cole is presenting with. I am also reminded that God has a plan for everything and although it may not make sense to us, it is His plan. Finally, I am reminded that despite the best laid plans, life gets in the way :)

Tuesdays for Trent

My brother and Cole on Trent's birthday last year

Well this will be my last post for my brother before his surgery so please remember to keep him and his surgeon in your prayers Friday. We continue to all do well with this (as best you can expect) and I know it is the prayers that give us strength so thank you so much and continue to pray for strength for us all. I truly am in awe of how well we all are dealing with this and someone the other day was shocked to hear about my brother because she said we all seemed like nothing big was going on in our lives. Prayer is powerful and God is good.

My sister is visiting this week with her boyfriend so that will help keep our minds off the impending surgery day as we haven't seen her in over 3 months and we have never met him! My sister is always a ray of sunshine and my brother and her are close so that will be nice. I will head down Saturday with my sister and her boyfriend to see my brother at the hospital. My parents will be there the whole time with him and my mother's sister and her family are so kindly coming on Friday to be there. The love and support we are getting is amazing. Thank you all.

My brother is expected to go into surgery Friday and be at the hospital until Sunday or Monday and then taking it easy at home for 10 days. I pray all goes well. I pray the tumor is not cancer. I pray they get it all. I pray there are no complications. I pray for healing. I pray for the surgeon. I pray for my brother. I pray for my family. I pray and I pray and I pray.

I will keep you updated. Until then, please pray too.

Mom Monday

You Know You're A Mom When...

- You are excited about getting in a bathing suit because it means you are doing your first "Mommy and Me" swim lesson with your son (you normally would dread a bathing suit!)

- You rarely come home from a shopping trip without either diapers or wipes.

- You go out with a girlfriend and you both realize you don't remember the last time you were out without the kids but what are you both shopping for? Your kids! :)

- You stop to admire a snake with your son as you squirm inside because you HATE snakes!

- You realize once again you are listening to your son's children's CD and he isn't in the car and instead of changing to the radio, you keep it on because you like how cheerful the songs are :)

Do you have anything to add?

Mom Monday

For this Mom Monday I want to post a poem I have received a few times that I love. I think it sums up motherhood perfectly...

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.

I can't remember if I shared this before. It is so true though so if I have, I still think it is worth sharing again!

Fridays at the Library

Lately Cole has been going to storytime at the library on Fridays. I have to miss it because it is during the morning but thankfully my mother, who watches him, is willing to take him. I just had to share what he has been coming home with...
The above are two different "projects" he has done with a little help from Grammie I suspect :) And so the refridgerator hangings begin :)

18 Months Today!

Cole you are 18 months old today! That means you are 1 1/2 years old! You are growing up so fast and Mommy and Daddy are loving every minute of watching you grow and learn. Here is what you have been up to...

- You are 35 inches tall! That is almost 3 feet!
- You weigh 29.2 lbs.
- You had a great 18 month appt. yesterday...the MD said you are so big you look like a three year old! He said you are well proportioned though :)
- Your measurment for your head puts you in the 87th percentile and your height and weight put you in the 97th for your height and I can't remember the exact number but you are in the 90 somethings for weight too!
- You wear a size 6 regular diaper and a size 5 overnight because that is as large as those diapers go and you still need them because you still pee A LOT overnight.
- You wear size 18-24 month pants and size 24-2T shirts.
- You wear a size 7 1/2 shoe.
- You still LOVE to eat. Your favorite foods right now are cheese, blueberries, goldfish, cheez-its and your favorite drink is water!
- Recent foods you have tried and like are smoothies, hummus, and carrots.
- Recent foods you have tried and keep trying but don't really like yet are salad.
- You recently showed us you know how to drink from a straw!
- You are talking more recently, which pleases Mommy (and Daddy) to no end. Recent words you have said are diaper, work, donut, and doctor.
- You have started pointing to yourself and saying your name but at this point, it comes out sounding nothing like your name but you use the same sounds consistently (something like "toe-uh") :)
- You love dogs. You order Buster around all day and then when we go on a walk and see other dogs you think they should "'mon" (your way of saying come on) too :)
- You still LOVE to be outside.
- You are a climber and you have no fear.
- You recently had two accidents involving blood. You tripped and hit your blankets on the floor so it was a soft landing but somehow you managed to tear the flap of skin that holds your upper lip to your gums...ouch! Two days later you then tripped and fell into Dada's knee. You bite your teeth through the left AND right side of your tongue...sigh.
- You love to drive. Mommy lets you sit on her lap and "drive" from the end of our driveway to the house...it isn't very far but you feel like a king. You start out so determined for a second or two and then you take your hands of the wheel and either point to something out the window or play with the stereo or wipers, etc....a distracted driver you are!
- You insist that anyone who leaves the house must "toot toot" their car horn when they leave. I know the neighbors must love it when Daddy does it at 6:45 in the morning :)
- You get frustrated easily.
- You love to give hugs and kisses.
- You smell everything! Literally.
- You continue to love to read. In fact, just recently you have told me you will read to me instead!
- You still insist on Daddy putting you to bed at night. Ever since Daddy had to do it for a week while Mommy recovered from pneumonia you haven't looked back!
- You are down to 1 nap a day for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours and you sleep around 9-10 hours a night.
- You went to your first "big event" and saw Disney Playhouse Live with two friends. You had so much fun and watching the excitement in you melted Mommy's heart.
- You are asserting your independence more. You now tell Mommy to go ahead inside and you stay out on the porch and play by yourself!

Little man, there is so much more I could say about you. You are such a blessing in Mommy and Daddy's life. Your smile is amazing. Your laugh is even better. Your hugs and kisses are the best of all. Words cannot describe my love for you. Thank you little man for all that you are and more.

Almost Wordless Wednesday-Papa, Tractor & Dessert...

....life couldn't get any better for this little boy!

Tuesdays for Trent

I am thankful to report that things are kind of at a standstill with my brother right now. His surgery is the 30th of this month so we are just kind of in a waiting mode right now. I continue to ask for your prayers of healing, strength, and knowledge. I continue to marvel in the power of prayer. My family is handling this all better than I would expect and my brother's strength is more than admirable. I know that the power of prayer is definitely at work. Thank you all and please continue.

Mom Monday

You Know You're A Mom When...

- You are putting cream on your son with his diaper change after Easter and just assume that the "brown stuff" stuck in the cap of the cream is chocolate until your father who is there says, "Are you sure it is chocolate?" and you smell it and say, "I think so" and continue what you are doing :)

- The salad you had for dinner last night was extra chopped up because most of what you ate was what your son insisted on trying and then putting in your mouth to eat when he didn't like it and you didn't think about how gross this was at all!

- Your shopping trip over the weekend for some things for you (you don't remember the last time you bought clothes for yourself) turned into two new pairs of shoes and some socks for your son and nothing for you; you are perfectly happy with this!

- You used to love to go on walks alone to "clear your head" but now you love to go for walks with your son and look for "woof woofs" along the way :)

Poll Results: Job

I am so happy to see that the majority of people love their job! With the economy making so many changes to people's jobs I am impressed that the majority of people are still happy at their job. If you don't mind sharing, please let me know what your job is that you enjoy so much! My first thought was, are most of these people stay at home Moms? Don't get me wrong, I know that it is a tough job but so rewarding for sure!

I voted for "some days yes and some days no" for these reasons:


What I love~
- I love what I do and I do love my job. It allows me to work with a variety of patients in a variety of settings.
- I love the people I work with.
- I have a good salary and good benefits.
- I have great flexibility in my job.

What I don't love~
- It keeps me away from my son.
- I don't like the politics that come with the job (or any job for that matter I am sure.)

So, overall I love my job and as for the things I don't love...they really would come with any job I am sure. Thus, overall I consider myself pretty lucky!

Happy Birthday Grammie!

Hi Everyone, this is Cole. I am taking over Mommy's blog today to wish my Grammie a very happy birthday. I was going to tell you her age but I can't remember what it is because it is a big number, like 25 or something!

Anyway, I am so thankful for my Grammie. I love her so much. She takes care of me while Mommy and Daddy work and I have so much fun with her. We play outside and I have a special toy room for when we play inside. She makes me good lunches too! I love it when we go for walks and when she pushes me in my cop car. We also play outside with "Bu" (Buster) and he is a lot of fun. Grammie also teaches me stuff too. I know a lot of my body parts and I am learning my colors now. She also takes me to visit friends too. Sometimes we go to the library and we may start swimming lessons soon! I help her clean, wash the car, and put out the laundry on the clothesline (I LOVE running through the blankets!) I am really good at cleaning now thanks to Grammie!

Grammie is so much fun and I am so glad I get to spend so much time with her. Now, if I could only convince Papa to do the same....

Happy Birthday Grammie! I love you!

Tuesdays For Trent

First, thank you all for your prayers. I am definitely feeling them. The strength I and my family has had thus far is amazing. I think my Mom is right when she commented and said that Cole has been such a blessing in all of this. You can't help but smile when he is around and the innocence of a child is just so invigorating.

Now, back to my brother. Trent and my parents went to Boston and met with the MD who Trent has decided will do his surgery. They were impressed with the knowledge and confidence of this surgeon and I think our minds were all put at ease just a little bit knowing Trent will be in his care (praise God for answering this prayer.)

Trent will have surgery in Boston on Friday, April 30th. He will have to stay the weekend and if all goes well he will be discharged for home at the end of the weekend. He will need 10 days before returning to light work and a month before anything such as his mowing business. Prayers that all goes well and for a speedy recovery.

The surgeon is confident that the location of his tumor will not be a problem (praise God for his confidence and expertise) as he says he does these surgeries all the time.

Trent is going to be part of some research as the surgeon said he is seeing a lot of these cancerous tumors in adults his age and it is unheard of. Hopefully this will give us more answers.

Unfortunately the surgeon says these tumors often reoccur AND the surgeon feels it may be a result of the medication Trent is on for his Crohn's. Trent will have the tough decision of deciding whether or not to go off the meds, which to this point, have kept his Crohn's subdued. This may mean his Crohn's could flare and there is no other medication to help him...the med he is on was his last resort. Prayers as he makes some difficult decisions and prayers that his tumors do not reoccur. Prayers that when they biopsy the tumor it is not cancer!

That is all for now...my head is spinning from all of this so I am sure yours is too. It is all so much to take in and as I have said before, I marvel at my brother's ability to take it as he does without missing a step. God is good.

Please continue to pray. We feel your prayers. Pray for healing, pray for strength, pray for guidance, pray for the surgeon.

Thank you all.

Mom Monday

You Know You're A Mom When...

- You are just as excited (if not more) to see Playhouse Disney than the kids!

- You buy the $15 hard hat that your son just has to have at the Playhouse Disney event and watching your son wear the hat the whole event and the whole next day makes it all worth it.

- You pack snacks for your son AND the other kids :)

- You let your son wear a hard hat grocery shopping because that is what he wants and that is all that matters to you.

- You are NOT excited about all the chocolate your son received at Easter for two reason: 1. He doesn't need it all 2. You most likely will eat some of it and you don't need it either!

- You let your son wear his bunny ears to church even though you are not sure it is the best idea considering what Easter is REALLY about but he wants to and that is all you care about :)

- You get up before your son to go put eggs out in the yard :)

- Your husband says your son needs to change his shirt before heading over to Easter with the family because he got strawberry stains on it and you say, "He is fine" and let him go as is knowing he will just end up staining the new shirt AND you take a family photo with your son with his stained shirt without thinking twice about it :)

Thankful Thursday

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for. -Epicurus (341 BC - 270 BC)"

I was reading a fellow blogger's blog post about her troubles with her twin boys and she posted the above at the end of her post. It inspired me to once again do a "Thankful Thursday" post (thanks Annie!) I have been so caught up in what I now want and have forgotten that what I now have was truly what I once only hoped for. I prayed and prayed for Cole and even remember saying over and over how I just wanted a happy, healthy, and full term child and God did deliver that. However, now when Cole is sick (as he has been lately) I find myself just wanting him healthy again and as I deal with what seems like never ending issues with Cole' circumcision I find myself just wishing that he could just be healed and not have any more problems with it. As I find myself waking up lately with Cole at 4 AM I find myself wishing he would just sleep through the night again. However, what I have forgotten is at one point all I wished for was him. Yet now, I want more. Even with my brother's situation I remember as he was so sick with his Crohn's Disease at times I just wished he could be one of those who seem to get their Crohn's into remission. He now is fairly stable with his Crohn's however he has a mass on his kidney. Again, he has what I wished for but now I want more.

I think it is only natural to keep desiring more. I think it is only natural to want all bad things to not happen. However, I am reminded of what my husband said, "You need a little rain to get your rainbows" and rainbows I do have. I have a father who is my hero, I have a mother who is supermom and I am so fortunate to have watch my son while I work, I have a brother who has amazing strength and grace despite all his obstacles and who is an amazing Uncle; always willing to help babysit too, I have a sister who is more amazing than she might ever know, I have an amazing extended family, I have great friends, I have a husband who is my best friend, I have a son who is the light of my life, I have a house to go home to at night, and most of all, I have today and the hopes for tomorrow. For all that, I am thankful.